• July 22, 2019

Moneywise 25: Why Mentors are difficult to get in Nigeria (Q&A for the Millionaire Doctor Part 2)

Celebrity Blogger Gbenga Dan Asabe with Ex-Abia State Governor & International Businessman Dr. Orji Uzor Kalu
Question:
I must thank God
for your life and for the unbelievable level of openness you display in your
column. It is always a delight to read you every week. I have noticed that you
have access to quite a lot of big people who advise you. I have found out this
is not the case with ordinary folks like us. These big people are difficult to
reach; they don‘t want to share their secrets for money making.

And you have
said consistently that we should look for mentors.
How does one get
around the difficulty of finding people for mentoring purpose? I need your
advice.
Olopade John,
Lagos.
Answer:
“I have been asked this question over and over again
and my answer has always been the same. You can get anything you want if you
put your mind to it. And I have found this to be true also: God always honors
the desires of your heart. But the problem is that most of us go about getting
our desires realized in a wrong manner.
Every week, I get tons of e-mails from people who
want me to be their mentor. I take my time to read the e-mails and in most
cases I find the contents very interesting. I read statements like: “I am
appointing you as my mentor whether you like it or not.” “As my mentor I
believe you can bail me out of my financial situation; I need urgent financial
assistance. Please help!”. “I have appointed you as my mentor and I intend to
see you next week to pour my life into you”.
Very harmless statements, but I need to stress that
mentoring is a very complex concept and it is better handled with care. A
mentor—protégé relationship is one that cannot be taken casually. It is serious
business. By asking someone to be your mentor you are actually giving that
individual permission to influence you; to play a part in shaping your life and
in the process to also benefit from what you are bringing to the table. So it
is a relationship you must consciously enter into with an open mind that it may
work and it may not work. I have some few suggestions you can try. I have used
some of them with good results”.


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“Constantly strive to protect the interest of your
mentor. Defend him even when he is not present. Be his ambassador. You are
likely to damage the relationship if you manifest behaviors that are
inconsistent with those of your mentor.
Don’t be a parasitic protégé. Bring something to the
table. Be willing to work free for your mentor if it is necessary. Don’t drop
your mentor’s name. It may work against you”.

Step 1:
“Go on a separation session and find out what God’s
purpose for your life is. This is crucial as you cannot go far without
discovering what you are here on the planet for. Take inventory of your
abilities and interest and resolve to stick to your discovery. I advise you
don’t seek a mentor until you have sorted out the question of your purpose”.
Step 2:
“Search around and look for at least three
individuals doing well in your area of assignment. Get to know these
individuals intimately. Ask questions around. Find out more about the
individuals from as many channels as possible. The fact that somebody is doing
well on the surface may not necessarily mean he is good for you. This process
takes some time, but unfortunately many who are looking for mentors always want
to bypass this step. This can produce undesirable consequences later. If you
get in, and you discover you need to pull out, this may be embarrassing to you
and the assumed mentor”
Step 3:
 “Narrow
the list to just one person. Let me warn that in financial matters, you need
mentors in at least five areas: spiritual-which is key, real estate,
investment, financial planning and business. You have to go through the same
process in choosing each of them”.
Step 4:
“Approach the person. If you have done your home
work well, you should have discovered how to go about it. You can approach the
person directly. You can go through his close associates. You can write a
letter formally introducing yourself and what kind of relationship you want.
There is an approach I have used that has worked all the time. Send a gift
before ever asking for a relationship, nothing big, just an indication that you
are likely to be a different kind of protégé. If you have discovered what your proposed
mentor likes get it for him immediately. I have tried this method all the time
and it has worked all the time. No failure rate. Let me also share a trick:
know what his wife likes and get it for her. You should send this through her
husband. Once the wife is satisfied with you, that is almost automatic
clearance. If it is a woman, get to know what her husband likes and make it
happen”.
Step 5:
“Once you have been accepted as a protégé, you
should book the first appointment with the person. Ensure that you are armed
with either a tape recorder or a diary. This will send a positive signal that
you intend to take his advice seriously. Always prepare questions in advance.
Don’t talk too much. Ask questions from a list. Successful people are busy;
they don’t like people who don’t value their time”
.
Step 6:
“Make sure you implement the details of your last
discussion. Let him know about the progress you are making through the mutually
agreed channel. Brief him on the progress when next you meet with him. Try all
the steps and share the result with me. But let me also give these general
tips.
If you are rejected by your proposed mentor
initially, don’t get offended. It took me up to a year before I eventually got
the attention of somebody I was madly interested in getting to coach me. God
knows the right timing and that is why you must be prayerful about it”.
“Constantly strive to protect the interest of your
mentor. Defend him even when he is not present. Be his ambassador. You are
likely to damage the relationship if you manifest behaviors that are
inconsistent with those of your mentor.
Don’t be a parasitic protégé. Bring something to the
table. Be willing to work free for your mentor if it is necessary. Don’t drop
your mentor’s name. It may work against you”.
“Let me warn that occasionally you may discover a
few things you don’t like about your mentor. This is normal as no one is
perfect. This is the more reason you should get closer to him. But if it is so
serious that you feel like pulling out, pray about it very well and part in
harmony”.
“It is worth going through all this trouble to get a
good mentor because if you are lucky to find the right one, your journey to the
top would be faster. I have gained incredible speed in my journey to financial
freedom by meeting quality individuals who have poured their lives into me.
Through some of these relationships I have developed an incredible network of
friends that would have been difficult to encounter on my own.
And even if you cannot get a mentor physically, get
into some relationships by reading good books.
So, my brother I am encouraging you to launch out
right away. Don’t fear rejection. Once you know how to go about getting a wife
of your dream, you already know how to locate a good mentor!
Good luck”.
Ayo Arowolo, Publisher The Millionaires’ Capsules
Parting Words by the Author
“A big congratulation on making it to the end of
this book; the greatest advice I can ever give to you for persevering to the
end is this: ‘don’t ever let today pass
without making an irrevocable commitment to implementing every capsule to which
you have been exposed in this book’.
I
know you can do it. And please always remember what God says about you: “You are fearfully and wonderfully made”.
 Go ahead and succeed. The world is
waiting for you because you are a financial miracle waiting to happen!
Know
the Author…
Ayo
Arowolo
, the author of the book The
New Millionaire’s Capsules
is a Reuter’s award winner. He has been
involved in financial education for the Past 20 Years as a reputable financial
and investigative journalist. He has worked in leading newspaper groups in
Nigeria including the Concord Group, the Guardian Group, the News
Group
and THISDAY Group
Mr.
Arowolo
was the founding Managing Editor/CEO of
Financial Standard Newspaper, and founding CEO of The Investment Club Network
(TICN). 
He is the lead facilitator at The Wealth Builders Seminar
Series
, Nigeria’s Premier Personal Finance educational Consultants.
Mr.
Arowolo
speaks to audiences around the country,
focusing on how individuals can take full charge of their personal financial
affairs and release the giants within them.  You can reach him on
info@millionairecapsule.com
.
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