Rule 3: Accept what is done is done

Ovation International Magazine Publisher, Dr. Dele Momodu with Afro Juju Music Creator, Sir Irawo Akanbi Oluwashina Peters (Both had terrible childhood but now stars in their endeavors)

People make
mistakes. Sometimes very serious ones, as often as not, the mistakes aren’t
deliberate or personal. Sometimes people just don’t know what they are doing.
This means that if, in the past, people have behaved badly towards you, it
wasn’t necessarily because they meant to be horrid, but because they were as
naïve, as foolish, as human as the rest of us. They made mistakes in the way
they brought you up or finished a relationship with you or whatever, not
because they wanted to do it that way, but because they didn’t know any

If you want
to, you can let go of any feelings of resentment, of regret, of anger. You can
accept that you are a fabulous human being because of all the bad things that
has happened to you, not in spite of them. What is done is done and you need to
just get on with things. Don’t use the labels, ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Yes, I
know some of it is indeed bad, but it is how we let it affect us, that is the
real ‘bad’. You could let all these
things get you down, fizzle away internally like some emotional acid making you
ill and resentful and struck. But you will let them go, embrace them as
character forming and in general as positive rather than negative.

Author cum Tabloid Journal King, Mike Awoyinfa had a tough childhood in Ghana but today a Global Citizen

On paper, I
had a seriously dysfunctional childhood and for a while was resentful. I blamed
my bizarre upbringing for all that was weak or dispirited or badly formed in
me; it is so easy to do. But once I accepted that what was done was done, and
that I could choose to forgive and get on with my life, things improved
enormously. For at least, one of my siblings, this was not the route they
chose, and they carried on building up the resentment until it overwhelmed
For me it
was essential, if I wanted more out of my life, to embrace all the bad things
as being an important part of me and to move on. In fact I wanted them to fuel
me into my future, to become positive to such an extent that I couldn’t imagine
being me without them. Now, if given the choice, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Yes, looking back, it was tough being the kid I was, living the life I did, but
it has certainly helped make me, me.
I think the
change occurred once I realized that even if I could get in front of me all the
people who had ‘done me wrong’; there would still be nothing they could do. I
could shout at them, berate them, rant at them, but there would be nothing they
could do to make amends or put things right. They too would have to accept
what’s done is done. There is no going back, only forwards. Make it a motto for
life—keep moving forwards.  
 (Excerpts from the Book: The Rules of Life by Richard Templar. Read Rule 4 in our next post on Asabeafrika)


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