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| GDA in session with Sir Shina Peters’ wife |
As we promised you forty eight hours
ago, your Number 1 Celebrity Encounter blog, asabeafrika serves you the
concluding part of the no-hold barred 54th birthday exclusive interview
of wife of Music star and Afro Juju creator, Sir Shina Akanbi Peters, Sammie.
It is a red hot life changing encounter from a woman who has seen it all when
it comes to marrying a celebrity. Enjoy the revelations as brought to you by
asabeafrika
I DON’T ENCOURAGE GOSSIP ABOUT MY
HUSBAND AND HIS WOMEN
a huge personality like Sir Shina Peters comes with lots of heart ache and
headache as many female fans and women generally would like to have a share of
him; how does Sammie handles that part of her husband? “People who are very,
very close to me know I don’t appreciate things like that. Even if you see my
husband outside with a lady or something, don’t come and tell me. I don’t want
to hear. They know me for that. No, I am telling you the truth, Dan, I don’t
pretend. You have heard this several times and I think you should know by now.
If you lie today, your lies will always change but this is me. I stand on the
same fact. I don’t dabble into what will
ruffle my emotions. For, example, sometimes ago, my husband employed one driver
like that before he got his new driver. So anytime the man drives my husband
out and they are back home, he will say to me “Madam, E ma ku iroju. Ah, lati
igba tati jade, oga nlo lati ile obinrin kan si kan ni” (Madam, I salute your
courage o. since we left home, I have been driving my master from one woman’s
place to another). I said ah, ah, what is this and how is that your business? I
mean it is his life, how is that your business? I mean he is a musician, he has
several fans and business associates. So, after he kept doing that to me, I
called my husband one day and I said to him “Do you still want me alive? He
said ‘what do you mean?’ I said no, just answer my question, do you still want
me alive? You want me to live long? He said ‘of course I do’. I said “Ok, send
that driver away”. He said what did the poor man do? And I told him what he has
been doing. I said I am sorry I had to tell you to sack him, because he is not
minding his business. He is here to drive you; he is not here to monitor you.
And I don’t want to hear all these things that he is telling me because if one
continues to hear things like that, automatically, no matter how patient you
are, you won’t be happy anyway. What you don’t know can’t hurt you. So, I was
able to convince my husband and he asked him to leave the second day. And that
was it. And since he employed Shakiru, his new driver, he doesn’t tell me
things. I don’t hear things. Happy go lucky guy. I think that is the way one can
live a life. I don’t want to hear evil in my ears because If you pay informants
to get you information on your husband, you are only getting an invitation to
heart attack, an information to poison your heart, to worry yourself, to break
your home? So why use your money to buy trouble? You won’t see women where
there is poverty; you will see them where things are rosy. So, if your husband
is comfortable you need to be more patient. That is the law of marrying the
rich and famous (Laughter)
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| Sammie in her element |
WHY CELEBRITY MARRIAGES CRASH/SOLUTION
real problem is ego and lack of maturity, they will say I can’t take this, I can’t
take that and you if you can’t take this and that you lose everything. There
was a time I wrote something on my wall on facebook, I said “a woman who wants
to live long and who desires to have a happy home, a heaven on earth marriage,
would have to learn to see but pretend as if you didn’t see. You have to hear
and pretend as if you didn’t hear, in doing that you find great happiness”. So,
one lady started attacking me on facebook. That such act is an
act of pretense, how can you be pretending? I had to educate her that it is not
pretence; I am only talking to you in parables. I am not telling you to pretend
but when you pretend as if you didn’t see something, then, you won’t argue
about it. You won’t fight over it. In marriage, you assume a lot. I came into
this house four days ago and I ran into my husband having a phone discourse
with someone. When I ran into him he changed his tone. The tone he was using to
speak before I came in changed but believe you me, instead of getting upset and
quarreling, I felt honored. Because if he went ahead and started talking as if
‘well, I am speaking with my girlfriend, what the hell can you do?’ one would
have been totally diminished. Ile aye e
nii ke! (It’s his life) he can live it the way he wants. Our life is a gift;
you can’t say because a man is married to you, he must be forcefully
changed. You are the one that need to
change your attitude; a man is always a man. Believe you me; a man will always
be a man. Men are inquisitive by nature. They are cheats by nature. They do it
at times not because they love the lady in question but because they want to
have fun. So, the moment you realize that your husband want to have fun, he
want to behave like the rest of his friends. If he decides to be odd among them,
they will say “Ah, oti di gbewu dani”
he will be termed a nonentity. As if he is not social or he is a dullard. So,
you must let him be and have a life. After my husband, I have another life that
I live like any other woman. I have friends, my families are there, I
socialize, I have my own little-little events that I attend. You might not find
me at the very elaborate ones but hey, I party. I read novels, I listen to
quality music, and I watch movies. If my husband is not around, believe me, I
am still as happy as when he is around because I am engaged with lots of
activities. Of course when I see him, I am happier, but when he is not around I
am still happy. He can decide not to call me for days if he is engaged, that is
his life. I do not care and I am not pretending. As a woman, you say I can’t
take this, I can’t take that, automatically, you will end up living alone at
the end of your life because a man will continue to be a man, and you can’t
cage him. He can not become a prisoner because he is married to you. Because he
is married to you, he shouldn’t go out? I don’t know, that sounds so funny.
That is why you see so many marriages breaking in town these days. At time, I
ask myself what is going on in this country. So, I advise my daughter on a daily
basis. I advise her to be patient and prayerful; there was a day she called me
and said “Mummy, I just caught my husband”. I said what did he do? And she said
“He was pinging a woman!” I said
‘Ehen?’ Nigbayen tu nko? Would he be pinging a man? Just stop that. Is he a pastor? Please, let me hear
word. What were you doing on his phone? Why were you checking his phone? She
was just laughing and she said “Mummy, you are always supporting him”. I said
“I will support him because he is a man”. And she said “Mummy, my husband is
not like your husband o”. And I said “Well, my husband is a man, your husband
is a man what is the difference” (Laughter). You will only be deceiving
yourself to say ‘oh, it is because he is a musician’. There are men that are not
musician that are worse than a musician. So, why don’t you just let him be?
Give yourself peace of mind and by doing that, believe me, you will be happy.
Your husband too will be happy. Allow him to fill guilty. When you give all the
peace in the world to him, he will feel guilty. He will talk to himself and say
what am I doing? I am just hurting this good woman for nothing. His conscience
will sort him out and heal him. But today, you will fight him, tomorrow you will
quarrel with him, you are Harding his heart against you, he will just label you
a witch. So, we shall keep advising our women to learn to ignore. No Juju does it, no Babalawo can do it; it is only peace and patience that can do it.
And always ensure that your home is neat. Keep yourself beautiful for him,
don’t be a cake without icing. Make yourself beautiful and ensure that the
house is very neat. You look at your environment, make your house beautiful.
Myself and my husband are going to be 32 years of marriage this year and anytime my husband is coming
back home I will still be running up and down as if we just met yesterday. I
will look for the best bed sheet color I will lay on the bed for him; I will
look for a very special delicacy that he loves, his favorite dish and I will
cook for him. So, tell me, how have I done it? Why would my marriage break? Go
to any length and do your Juju and I
will be patient. When the juju is
working, I am here keeping quiet, I won’t even say a word and before you know
it, the Juju will wear off. And everything
would be back to normal. I think that is the secret. Patience does it.
HURT ME
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| Sir Shina Peters relaxes in the family swimming pool facility. |
This
very tricky question made Sammie pause for three minutes before she could
gather her thoughts together; and this is what she said “Well, maybe sleeping
with my best friend. That could really get me upset, but it is never a reason
for me to divorce him. I mean sleeping or having a fling with someone I trust
so much and someone I can travel and say please be at home and look after my
man for me, trusting both of them to be able to stay through and the person now
turns behind and stab me emotionally. That could be really, really bad. I thank
God; my husband is a very decent man. He will never do such a thing because he
is someone that hates to see me get upset. When I am upset, my husband does not
like it because he knows I don’t get upset too often. So, when I am upset he
feels it and he doesn’t like the experience. He is a man of peace..
HANDLED IT
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| Sammie in the heat of the talk. |
This
was another question that tasked Chief (Mrs.) Sammie Peters’ mind but the
Iyalaje of Shasha Land, Lagos had an answer for us “I can really call it my six
turbulent years, I am actually looking at the opportunity of putting the whole
experience in a book later. I thought my marriage was going to break then as a
lot of things cropped up. My husband was engaged with this particular lady who
decided to stay on for so long. And the story was everywhere that he had
legalized the relationship with the lady; I was not particularly bothered about
their relationship but what baffled me was the way and manner my husband
changed during this period. He was no more laughing with me, anytime he visits
this house, you may see him laughing from outside the house but immediately he
steps into the house his face goes hard. He would keep a straight face all
through, we call it Ogboju-okunrin,
but the interesting thing was that it went for years and I didn’t like the
experience. At a time I even contemplated leaving but God intervened. However,
the irony of it all was that it was during this most terrific moment of our
marriage life that my husband gave me some of the monies for my school project.
He gave me all the finances during this very turbulent moment of our marriage.
That is why I said keeping a home is 90% of a woman’s effort and 10% of a man’s
effort. But that 10% is the deciding factor. So, that was my most challenging
moment in the marriage”.
“I
made it a point of action to be so humble and dedicated to him at that time, it
was even at that time I brought myself so down for him; when he comes home I
would cook different delicacies. Spend more money and take care of myself the
more. If I hear the horn of his car at the gate, you will see me
rush—-grrrrr! , anything on the table I pack off and start cleaning
everywhere to ensure he finds the environment attractive and welcoming. I
didn’t want him to complain about anything; I was extra-careful for all those
years, extra careful in the sense that when he is talking on the phone outside,
I am inside. When he is talking on the phone inside, I am outside. I was trying
to avoid problems. But he eventually came back home apologizing, telling me
SORRY. He said all the things that happen were part of his trying times. I said
I know; it is now by-gone.
