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| The GDA with a Portrait of Madam Bisket |
In this concluding edition of the
memoir-like exclusive interview with famous celebrity lady, Lady Evangelist Adebisi Eyitayo Dan Musa
aka Bisket, you will find out the
real personality and philosophy of a woman who was born to struggle for her belief
and way of life. As a second child of her mum, she took her own destiny in her
hand and create a path for her self. It is a story of providence, precedence
and the perfect whims of fate. You will never learn better about the story of
success and failure if you fail to read the concluding part of Bisket’s story. Only on your Africa’s
number celebrity encounter blog Asabeafrika.
Enjoy.
memoir-like exclusive interview with famous celebrity lady, Lady Evangelist Adebisi Eyitayo Dan Musa
aka Bisket, you will find out the
real personality and philosophy of a woman who was born to struggle for her belief
and way of life. As a second child of her mum, she took her own destiny in her
hand and create a path for her self. It is a story of providence, precedence
and the perfect whims of fate. You will never learn better about the story of
success and failure if you fail to read the concluding part of Bisket’s story. Only on your Africa’s
number celebrity encounter blog Asabeafrika.
Enjoy.
Secret of my enduring beauty…
Let’s talk about your age; you are
such an epitome of beauty right from your very young age. In those days your beauty
was a subject of discuss among many but even up till now, you have kept both
the beauty and the gait, how have you been able to keep your beauty?
such an epitome of beauty right from your very young age. In those days your beauty
was a subject of discuss among many but even up till now, you have kept both
the beauty and the gait, how have you been able to keep your beauty?
There is no
secret to it, like I said, I relax myself. I told you that after a project I
can take my leave at any time because I don’t worship money. I don’t bargain my
life with money because I believe it is when you have life that you can enjoy
money. By the time you have stroke or you are on a wheel chair, you can’t enjoy
that money again. (Laughter) that is why I don’t run after money too much, I
believe money would come when it would come so far I can have my breakfast,
lunch and dinner and God didn’t allow me to beg my enemies for food. That means
I am a rich woman in the Lord; so, I always thank God. I have always relaxed.
As I seat here, I have never borrowed money from any bank and I will never. No
bank can come out and say that I have come to them to fill a form, that ‘come
and borrow me money’. Even when I don’t have I cut my cloth according to my
size. I have never taken any of my property before any bank manager as
collateral. That ‘please, take this as collateral for that money’, I don’t even
know how they do it. I just believe that God will provide; I am okay with my
manna from heaven.
secret to it, like I said, I relax myself. I told you that after a project I
can take my leave at any time because I don’t worship money. I don’t bargain my
life with money because I believe it is when you have life that you can enjoy
money. By the time you have stroke or you are on a wheel chair, you can’t enjoy
that money again. (Laughter) that is why I don’t run after money too much, I
believe money would come when it would come so far I can have my breakfast,
lunch and dinner and God didn’t allow me to beg my enemies for food. That means
I am a rich woman in the Lord; so, I always thank God. I have always relaxed.
As I seat here, I have never borrowed money from any bank and I will never. No
bank can come out and say that I have come to them to fill a form, that ‘come
and borrow me money’. Even when I don’t have I cut my cloth according to my
size. I have never taken any of my property before any bank manager as
collateral. That ‘please, take this as collateral for that money’, I don’t even
know how they do it. I just believe that God will provide; I am okay with my
manna from heaven.
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| The GDA & Lady Bisket |
Mum didn’t believe in me…
Let talk about your mum, the late
Chief (Mrs.) Christiana Alaba Okeowo, She was one of the pioneer of the lace
fabric business in Lagos and till she passed away few years ago, she was known
to be a rich woman. What are those principles she taught you while growing?
Chief (Mrs.) Christiana Alaba Okeowo, She was one of the pioneer of the lace
fabric business in Lagos and till she passed away few years ago, she was known
to be a rich woman. What are those principles she taught you while growing?
Fortunately,
I will say my mother did not give me any training. I am just somebody who
believes in myself; my mum believes d more in Nikky Africana (The
Fashion icon who happens to be her senior sister).
I will say my mother did not give me any training. I am just somebody who
believes in myself; my mum believes d more in Nikky Africana (The
Fashion icon who happens to be her senior sister).
“I have never borrowed money from any
bank and I will never. No bank can come out and say that I have come to them to
fill a form, that ‘come and borrow me money’. Even when I don’t have I cut my
cloth according to my size. I have never taken any of my property before any
bank manager as collateral. That ‘please, take this as collateral for that money’,
I don’t even know how they do it”
Oh, she is your elder sister; I
taught she is junior to you?
taught she is junior to you?
Yes, she is
the first born but she didn’t speak with my mother for the last twenty years of
her life. But ironically, my mother believes more in Nikky Africana than
myself and she invested three quarter of her life into Nikky Africana and her
children. She believed more in her and the problem I had with my mother then,
not that she doesn’t love me, she always accuse me of giving out too much. So,
she was trying to protect her wealth from me and she believed Nikky
will be more careful with her wealth. So, she took more pleasure in raising
her. That is why when people make jest and say my mother gave me this house, I
say no, it is not true. Instead, she built house for Nikky Africana. Nikky
Africana is still alive; I can say it to her face. She gave her a house
as her 24th birthday present. She built it and gave her the key for
her 24th birthday present. But I built my own house out of my sweat.
I started before 20 but because I don’t have money, so I was struggling,
struggling and my mother would tell me ‘I
won’t help you, because you are a waster, if I give you, you have all your
group following you and you will distribute; so I won’t give you my money’. So, she will rather give to Nikky
Africana;
me, I will have to struggle to buy my children pampers and everything but she
will always provide for her (Nikky Africana) twenty four hours, provide for her
husband, Adekunle. She takes care of them, do everything. She changes
her car every two years. Me, I will have to struggle. She only bought me my
first car at the age of 16 and she seized the car three months after. Since that time I buy my cars myself. So, I
will not say I benefited materially from her. Yes, she is a very hard working
woman; she trained us to be hard working.
There was a time I read it in the paper, that was about ten years ago,
they were saying that my sister (Nikky Africana) is having bank problem with
her property and I looked at my husband, even though we are not on talking
terms (with her sister) and I said ‘you know what? They can’t take her house
because she is Mrs. Okeowo’s
daughter. That she will find her way out. And she did, that is my mother for
you. She trained us to survive.
the first born but she didn’t speak with my mother for the last twenty years of
her life. But ironically, my mother believes more in Nikky Africana than
myself and she invested three quarter of her life into Nikky Africana and her
children. She believed more in her and the problem I had with my mother then,
not that she doesn’t love me, she always accuse me of giving out too much. So,
she was trying to protect her wealth from me and she believed Nikky
will be more careful with her wealth. So, she took more pleasure in raising
her. That is why when people make jest and say my mother gave me this house, I
say no, it is not true. Instead, she built house for Nikky Africana. Nikky
Africana is still alive; I can say it to her face. She gave her a house
as her 24th birthday present. She built it and gave her the key for
her 24th birthday present. But I built my own house out of my sweat.
I started before 20 but because I don’t have money, so I was struggling,
struggling and my mother would tell me ‘I
won’t help you, because you are a waster, if I give you, you have all your
group following you and you will distribute; so I won’t give you my money’. So, she will rather give to Nikky
Africana;
me, I will have to struggle to buy my children pampers and everything but she
will always provide for her (Nikky Africana) twenty four hours, provide for her
husband, Adekunle. She takes care of them, do everything. She changes
her car every two years. Me, I will have to struggle. She only bought me my
first car at the age of 16 and she seized the car three months after. Since that time I buy my cars myself. So, I
will not say I benefited materially from her. Yes, she is a very hard working
woman; she trained us to be hard working.
There was a time I read it in the paper, that was about ten years ago,
they were saying that my sister (Nikky Africana) is having bank problem with
her property and I looked at my husband, even though we are not on talking
terms (with her sister) and I said ‘you know what? They can’t take her house
because she is Mrs. Okeowo’s
daughter. That she will find her way out. And she did, that is my mother for
you. She trained us to survive.
“But ironically, my mother believes
more in Nikky Africana than myself
and she invested three quarter of her life into Nikky Africana and her children. She believed more in her and the
problem I had with my mother then, not that she doesn’t love me, she always
accuse me of giving out too much. So, she was trying to protect her wealth from
me and she believed Nikky will be
more careful with her wealth”.
How many of you actually?
We are
three, we are just three. We have our master; I call him ‘Baba Okeowo’ even though he is very, very, junior to us because my
mother never knew she could have a child again before she gave birth to him. He
went to the same school with my children so you could imagine his age; so I
call him “Baba Okeowo” because he is
the Baba of the house. And if you see him, you see me, we are like identical
twins. He is my replica; Nikky Africana does not look too
much like us but I and my junior brother are like twins.
three, we are just three. We have our master; I call him ‘Baba Okeowo’ even though he is very, very, junior to us because my
mother never knew she could have a child again before she gave birth to him. He
went to the same school with my children so you could imagine his age; so I
call him “Baba Okeowo” because he is
the Baba of the house. And if you see him, you see me, we are like identical
twins. He is my replica; Nikky Africana does not look too
much like us but I and my junior brother are like twins.
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| Lady Bisket |
So, how did your mum react to your
child trafficking allegation crisis of 2001; what was her concern level like to
a daughter?
child trafficking allegation crisis of 2001; what was her concern level like to
a daughter?
She is
already late; I initially told you that even my close bloods who are more than
my children didn’t play any role. I don’t want to say anything further. To
start with, she (Mother) didn’t even believe in it. Her arithmetic was ‘how would you have children and you will be
taking care of other people’s children?’ She did not see the vision; nobody
sees the vision up till now. Even my friends don’t see it; even people you know
with me don’t see it. They have been warning me before you came, that ‘mummy, you don’t need this. People give
things to motherless homes why did you bring them to dirty your house?’ But
they don’t see the vision. It is only me that I am seeing my vision. So, when
my travails came, they said “Olorun lo mu
e, because o bimo tie, ki lon wa?” (God is the one punishing you because
you have your own children, what are you looking for with other people’s
children
already late; I initially told you that even my close bloods who are more than
my children didn’t play any role. I don’t want to say anything further. To
start with, she (Mother) didn’t even believe in it. Her arithmetic was ‘how would you have children and you will be
taking care of other people’s children?’ She did not see the vision; nobody
sees the vision up till now. Even my friends don’t see it; even people you know
with me don’t see it. They have been warning me before you came, that ‘mummy, you don’t need this. People give
things to motherless homes why did you bring them to dirty your house?’ But
they don’t see the vision. It is only me that I am seeing my vision. So, when
my travails came, they said “Olorun lo mu
e, because o bimo tie, ki lon wa?” (God is the one punishing you because
you have your own children, what are you looking for with other people’s
children
My relationship with MKO Abiola’s
wife, Simbi…
wife, Simbi…
You were equally very close to the
late Simbiat Ayinke Abiola, wife of the late business mogul turn politician and
winner of the annulled June 12 election, what was the reason for your
closeness?
late Simbiat Ayinke Abiola, wife of the late business mogul turn politician and
winner of the annulled June 12 election, what was the reason for your
closeness?
I will not
say I was too close to her; I was not close to her. She just likes me and I
don’t know the reason. Because Mummy (Mrs. Simbiat Abiola) will come to my
shop, I don’t go to her. And I am not up to her leg, in age, in everything. I
don’t know what she sees in me; she will just drive herself here, she will sit
down, talk to me like an adult. That I should advise her and I will be laughing,
I will say ‘mummy, me, I am not seeing
what you see o’. If I have somebody
like MKO as husband, me, I will just be taking yacht holiday all over the world’.
(Laughter). From one continent to another, so, she (Simbiat) just choose me, I
didn’t choose her; even her children didn’t know she was close to me. Because
she will just drive into this place, I have only entered her house may be once
or twice. And when she died I couldn’t go because I was close to her; people
don’t know she talks to me. She opens her heart to me, she just chose me, I
don’t know why, she will come to me and I have only been to her house twice
because I am not somebody who take passion in going out; people who are very
close to me know that about me”
say I was too close to her; I was not close to her. She just likes me and I
don’t know the reason. Because Mummy (Mrs. Simbiat Abiola) will come to my
shop, I don’t go to her. And I am not up to her leg, in age, in everything. I
don’t know what she sees in me; she will just drive herself here, she will sit
down, talk to me like an adult. That I should advise her and I will be laughing,
I will say ‘mummy, me, I am not seeing
what you see o’. If I have somebody
like MKO as husband, me, I will just be taking yacht holiday all over the world’.
(Laughter). From one continent to another, so, she (Simbiat) just choose me, I
didn’t choose her; even her children didn’t know she was close to me. Because
she will just drive into this place, I have only entered her house may be once
or twice. And when she died I couldn’t go because I was close to her; people
don’t know she talks to me. She opens her heart to me, she just chose me, I
don’t know why, she will come to me and I have only been to her house twice
because I am not somebody who take passion in going out; people who are very
close to me know that about me”
Why I don’t attend parties…
I don’t go out, even majority of people don’t
know the personality behind Bisket
they only know the name of the brand. I
am not the outgoing type. Even when I was in the world, that I am not yet in
the Lord, I don’t go out. I am not the party type that goes from one party to
another, that is not me. Hardly can you see me go out. The only way I catch fun
and I did it for only a year before I found out that I couldn’t cope is by
going to the club. And the only club I went to was Nite Shift (coliseum) and
the day I entered, Ken Olumese gave
me gold
card because he was shocked that I could come down and I stayed with
them for nine months and ran away. They came and I said ‘I can’t come again’ because I can’t understand what is going on there’. And they always make jest of me because I
take only water during club hours, I don’t know how to take wine, I don’t take
anything, so they will be laughing saying ‘Bisket,
we will bring feeding bottle o, for you to start taking baby milk because you
are not taking Champagne, they are serving Champagne instead you are asking for
water’. If I take my one bottle of soft drink, throughout the night, I take
water and the following day, I will become useless. I cannot resume in my
store. So, immediately I did it for nine months, I stepped out. And when Ken (Olumese) was begging me, I said ‘no, I can’t cope with that life, it is not my life’. And for that, nobody can say he
has seen me in any club in Nigeria apart from Nite Shift. And nobody can say, ‘I
know her, she goes to this party, I am not a party person’. I am a homely
person. I love people around me, so people come to me, I don’t go to them.
know the personality behind Bisket
they only know the name of the brand. I
am not the outgoing type. Even when I was in the world, that I am not yet in
the Lord, I don’t go out. I am not the party type that goes from one party to
another, that is not me. Hardly can you see me go out. The only way I catch fun
and I did it for only a year before I found out that I couldn’t cope is by
going to the club. And the only club I went to was Nite Shift (coliseum) and
the day I entered, Ken Olumese gave
me gold
card because he was shocked that I could come down and I stayed with
them for nine months and ran away. They came and I said ‘I can’t come again’ because I can’t understand what is going on there’. And they always make jest of me because I
take only water during club hours, I don’t know how to take wine, I don’t take
anything, so they will be laughing saying ‘Bisket,
we will bring feeding bottle o, for you to start taking baby milk because you
are not taking Champagne, they are serving Champagne instead you are asking for
water’. If I take my one bottle of soft drink, throughout the night, I take
water and the following day, I will become useless. I cannot resume in my
store. So, immediately I did it for nine months, I stepped out. And when Ken (Olumese) was begging me, I said ‘no, I can’t cope with that life, it is not my life’. And for that, nobody can say he
has seen me in any club in Nigeria apart from Nite Shift. And nobody can say, ‘I
know her, she goes to this party, I am not a party person’. I am a homely
person. I love people around me, so people come to me, I don’t go to them.
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| Lady Bisket with GDA |
Story of my two famous marriages…
Now let’s talk about your marriage
life, as a young woman, you were one woman who drew great men to herself due to
your inestimable beauty, I mean men did all they could to have you with them
and among those great men were your first husband, Alhaji Mahmood Shabba
formerly of Nigerian Airways, I want to believe he is still alive; before you
eventually married the oil entrepreneur, Alhaji Dan Musa. How would you
describe that episode of your life vis-à-vis your beauty?
life, as a young woman, you were one woman who drew great men to herself due to
your inestimable beauty, I mean men did all they could to have you with them
and among those great men were your first husband, Alhaji Mahmood Shabba
formerly of Nigerian Airways, I want to believe he is still alive; before you
eventually married the oil entrepreneur, Alhaji Dan Musa. How would you
describe that episode of your life vis-à-vis your beauty?
Alhaji Shabba is still very much alive, he is not
late and he was somebody that played a very, very important role in my life
that I appreciate and I will continue to appreciate till I die. I think what I
can attribute to our separation was just destiny because…maybe I was a child
then.
late and he was somebody that played a very, very important role in my life
that I appreciate and I will continue to appreciate till I die. I think what I
can attribute to our separation was just destiny because…maybe I was a child
then.
Are you saying youthful exuberance
caused you to lose that relationship?
caused you to lose that relationship?
No, he was
the person that was exuberant. He was too much of it, he is very much older
than me but he is the trouble maker. He is alive, he can read it. He was the
trouble maker in the marriage, not me. I tried as a young girl, I tried, I
tried and I tried. Maybe if I was a bit older I would have been able to cope
because my present husband is not better than him when it comes to marriage
relationship but I could cope with him now, and I have made up my mind that it
is for life. Maybe if I was a bit older then, I will not leave Alhaji Shabba. I would have stayed
because he played a fatherly role in my life. And he is somebody I can say,
hundred percent, when you say a man loves you, I know he loves me. No matter
how he did his Jaga-jaga, the love
was there. Maybe the baby in me reacted; I felt ‘oh, you have to prove that
love’. It is now I know that nobody proves love, only God can love you the way
you want it, no human being can beat that standard. I was expecting too much, I
was expecting too much then.
the person that was exuberant. He was too much of it, he is very much older
than me but he is the trouble maker. He is alive, he can read it. He was the
trouble maker in the marriage, not me. I tried as a young girl, I tried, I
tried and I tried. Maybe if I was a bit older I would have been able to cope
because my present husband is not better than him when it comes to marriage
relationship but I could cope with him now, and I have made up my mind that it
is for life. Maybe if I was a bit older then, I will not leave Alhaji Shabba. I would have stayed
because he played a fatherly role in my life. And he is somebody I can say,
hundred percent, when you say a man loves you, I know he loves me. No matter
how he did his Jaga-jaga, the love
was there. Maybe the baby in me reacted; I felt ‘oh, you have to prove that
love’. It is now I know that nobody proves love, only God can love you the way
you want it, no human being can beat that standard. I was expecting too much, I
was expecting too much then.
So you regretted the separation from
Shabba?
Shabba?
I never
regretted the separation because I believe in destiny. I believe that I am
destined to be married to Dan Musa
at this season of my life and I thank God for his life. I thank God for the
role he played in my life as a partner; like I told you before we got to this
point of the interview, that the role he played during my child trafficking
allegation saga, that is one point that can never make me think twice of
leaving him. No matter what he does to me, I always see him as my soul mate.
That nobody is perfect; so, I don’t see the faults in him, and I choose to see
the good side of him. When people complain and say ‘heeee!’ I say to them ‘I
choose to see the good side of my husband’. The side you see I don’t want to
see. That is what I have chosen to see.
I will rather say the cup is half full rather than saying half empty.
regretted the separation because I believe in destiny. I believe that I am
destined to be married to Dan Musa
at this season of my life and I thank God for his life. I thank God for the
role he played in my life as a partner; like I told you before we got to this
point of the interview, that the role he played during my child trafficking
allegation saga, that is one point that can never make me think twice of
leaving him. No matter what he does to me, I always see him as my soul mate.
That nobody is perfect; so, I don’t see the faults in him, and I choose to see
the good side of him. When people complain and say ‘heeee!’ I say to them ‘I
choose to see the good side of my husband’. The side you see I don’t want to
see. That is what I have chosen to see.
I will rather say the cup is half full rather than saying half empty.
If you are to be sincere, between the
two who do you adjudge as your best experience?
two who do you adjudge as your best experience?
If they ask
you which one is the best in your life between your eyes and your mouth, which
one would you chose (general laughter)
you which one is the best in your life between your eyes and your mouth, which
one would you chose (general laughter)
You surely cannot choose one over the
other, ma
other, ma
So you can
now see that each one of them has a role God has destined them to play in your
life. So, it will be very foolish of me to compare human beings and not those
who have played a fertile role in my life, saying which one is the best. No,
they have played their roles at the right time God wanted them to play the role
and I believe that is how it was destined to be. Alhaji Shabba too is happily married. When I left him, within six
months he got married and he has been with the same woman. And I have been with
the same man as well. So, definitely, God wanted us at the time he wanted us
together and at the time he didn’t want us together, he made us go our separate
way. Alhaji Shabba has been with one
woman not two women since we went apart. And Dan Musa has been with me alone since we came together. So, destiny
is paramount here.
now see that each one of them has a role God has destined them to play in your
life. So, it will be very foolish of me to compare human beings and not those
who have played a fertile role in my life, saying which one is the best. No,
they have played their roles at the right time God wanted them to play the role
and I believe that is how it was destined to be. Alhaji Shabba too is happily married. When I left him, within six
months he got married and he has been with the same woman. And I have been with
the same man as well. So, definitely, God wanted us at the time he wanted us
together and at the time he didn’t want us together, he made us go our separate
way. Alhaji Shabba has been with one
woman not two women since we went apart. And Dan Musa has been with me alone since we came together. So, destiny
is paramount here.
“I have two things in my life, my
business, my home; and every weekend, I take my children to the beach. I have
time for them since they were babies; those days Federal Palace Hotel has a fantastic swimming pool side, every
Sunday I must be there with my children. I was young myself and I don’t have
social life because I married early. I
started having children early and I devoted my life to my children and my
business, that is why I could not have social life and I can say nobody can
boast of seeing me in any party”.
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| Asabeafrika unveil Bisket |
How I raised my children…
I noticed that all your children are
first class brains with talents in special areas of education and most of them
went to the best school abroad; how were you able to maintain such a standard
for your children despite your busy schedule as a business woman?
first class brains with talents in special areas of education and most of them
went to the best school abroad; how were you able to maintain such a standard
for your children despite your busy schedule as a business woman?
Favor and
grace and I will call myself a very strict mother. Up till now I am strict with
them. I give them orientations, I look at them, I tell them the truth of life
and they obey me. The best legacy you can give a child is the legacy of knowing
God, praying and hard work, knowing the values of being independent minded and
working hard and respecting family values. It is what you instill into your
children in their young age that they will grow with and operate according to
in their advance age. If you make yourself to be a careless mother, then you
have yourself to blame in the long run. If you don’t raise them with discipline
from their young age, you will not be able to control them at a certain age.
But from when they were young, I have been a very strict mother, although I am
into business but I don’t allow my children to go out even when they are in and
out of England, it was the same standard. Both my children and my sister’s own
children schooled in England because
my mother ensured they all got quality education in England but I always refuse my mother when it comes to the issue of
giving them certain privileges. When they are on holiday, I make sure they are
back here to work with me in Nigeria. There was a time I brought them back to
do their secondary school here for about two years before returning them back
again. It was part of the discipline thrust. Then I also made them taste a bit
of homegrown education by returning them back to study at Ahmadu Bello University
(Zaria), but because of the chaotic nature of university education in Nigeria,
I returned them back to the US from US to England; so they are always here, you
can see that they all speak Yoruba. So, they have their brand of friends over
there and they also have friends here and that is why it is easy for them to
settle down now because they have been opportune to taste both worlds in equal
proportion. They are always in and out of Nigeria. I have never given them the chance to be
reared by Oyinbo (White Man/woman) my children are always around me, I rear
my children. People can testify, like I told you, I have children every year
until I was 30. So, I go about with my trolley. I have twin trolley, so the
last two kids I have, I normally put them in my twin trolley, New
York, London or anywhere I am doing my shopping, my friends will
always wonder how I move my children about. In most cases we may deliver
together and while shopping I will ask them, ‘where is your baby?’ they will say ‘he is at home’ and I will say ‘how
can you leave your baby at home?’. I travel with my children everywhere, up
to China, we travel everywhere. I
have my twin trolley, I will take them round until they start school, so they
are close to me and the bond is so strong. They have that bond; up till now,
study them, my children are bonded to me. Because I did not allow business to
take me off them that is why I told you I don’t go to parties. I have two things in my life, my business, my
home; and every weekend, I take my children to the beach. I have time for them
since they were babies; those days Federal
Palace Hotel has a fantastic swimming pool side, every Sunday I must be
there with my children. I was young myself and I don’t have social life because
I married early. I started having
children early and I devoted my life to my children and my business, that is
why I could not have social life and I can say nobody can boast of seeing me in
any party. Some musicians that were even close to me, one particularly that I
don’t want to mention his name, looked at me one day and said “Mummy, people know that I always sing your
praise but you have not attended any of my outings before. People just think I
just drop your name for nothing and see me sitting on your bed beside you,
please honor by coming to one of my shows” and I went there for thirty
minutes. And after that I never attended
an outing like that again. I don’t have time for such because I love my kids.
If I could love other people’s children then you could imagine how I care for
my own children. I don’t play with kids even now; I don’t enjoy the benefits of
being around them most time because I want to be permanently with my husband.
But my grand children, I feel they need me. My children still need me, they
need that feel, and they need that love.
They need that confidence that I am around them; an incident happened
here sometime back and they phoned me, ‘mummy, mummy’ and I ran down to settle
it. If I am in Kwara, I can’t start running down to solve their problem. So, I
want them to have the confidence that I am around them for the little time God
will give to me because you never know when God will call you; at least they
will be happy that our mother tried.
grace and I will call myself a very strict mother. Up till now I am strict with
them. I give them orientations, I look at them, I tell them the truth of life
and they obey me. The best legacy you can give a child is the legacy of knowing
God, praying and hard work, knowing the values of being independent minded and
working hard and respecting family values. It is what you instill into your
children in their young age that they will grow with and operate according to
in their advance age. If you make yourself to be a careless mother, then you
have yourself to blame in the long run. If you don’t raise them with discipline
from their young age, you will not be able to control them at a certain age.
But from when they were young, I have been a very strict mother, although I am
into business but I don’t allow my children to go out even when they are in and
out of England, it was the same standard. Both my children and my sister’s own
children schooled in England because
my mother ensured they all got quality education in England but I always refuse my mother when it comes to the issue of
giving them certain privileges. When they are on holiday, I make sure they are
back here to work with me in Nigeria. There was a time I brought them back to
do their secondary school here for about two years before returning them back
again. It was part of the discipline thrust. Then I also made them taste a bit
of homegrown education by returning them back to study at Ahmadu Bello University
(Zaria), but because of the chaotic nature of university education in Nigeria,
I returned them back to the US from US to England; so they are always here, you
can see that they all speak Yoruba. So, they have their brand of friends over
there and they also have friends here and that is why it is easy for them to
settle down now because they have been opportune to taste both worlds in equal
proportion. They are always in and out of Nigeria. I have never given them the chance to be
reared by Oyinbo (White Man/woman) my children are always around me, I rear
my children. People can testify, like I told you, I have children every year
until I was 30. So, I go about with my trolley. I have twin trolley, so the
last two kids I have, I normally put them in my twin trolley, New
York, London or anywhere I am doing my shopping, my friends will
always wonder how I move my children about. In most cases we may deliver
together and while shopping I will ask them, ‘where is your baby?’ they will say ‘he is at home’ and I will say ‘how
can you leave your baby at home?’. I travel with my children everywhere, up
to China, we travel everywhere. I
have my twin trolley, I will take them round until they start school, so they
are close to me and the bond is so strong. They have that bond; up till now,
study them, my children are bonded to me. Because I did not allow business to
take me off them that is why I told you I don’t go to parties. I have two things in my life, my business, my
home; and every weekend, I take my children to the beach. I have time for them
since they were babies; those days Federal
Palace Hotel has a fantastic swimming pool side, every Sunday I must be
there with my children. I was young myself and I don’t have social life because
I married early. I started having
children early and I devoted my life to my children and my business, that is
why I could not have social life and I can say nobody can boast of seeing me in
any party. Some musicians that were even close to me, one particularly that I
don’t want to mention his name, looked at me one day and said “Mummy, people know that I always sing your
praise but you have not attended any of my outings before. People just think I
just drop your name for nothing and see me sitting on your bed beside you,
please honor by coming to one of my shows” and I went there for thirty
minutes. And after that I never attended
an outing like that again. I don’t have time for such because I love my kids.
If I could love other people’s children then you could imagine how I care for
my own children. I don’t play with kids even now; I don’t enjoy the benefits of
being around them most time because I want to be permanently with my husband.
But my grand children, I feel they need me. My children still need me, they
need that feel, and they need that love.
They need that confidence that I am around them; an incident happened
here sometime back and they phoned me, ‘mummy, mummy’ and I ran down to settle
it. If I am in Kwara, I can’t start running down to solve their problem. So, I
want them to have the confidence that I am around them for the little time God
will give to me because you never know when God will call you; at least they
will be happy that our mother tried.
My advice to new couple….
Can you advice women in marriage,
today we have a lot of marriages collapsing so soon after they were contracted.
How do you think young couple of today’s Nigeria can manage their marriages and
make it last them a future?
today we have a lot of marriages collapsing so soon after they were contracted.
How do you think young couple of today’s Nigeria can manage their marriages and
make it last them a future?
I believe no
woman should break up her marriage because I believe from experience, like I
said earlier; there is no perfect human being. Anybody God has given you; just
take him as your destiny because even though you change, you will not find
perfection; so, why changing? And the changes always affect the children. Like
I said now, I wish I could be in Kwara but see me here, I am travelling out
tomorrow and by the time I am there, I am thinking of being here. But if it is
one side, you have a more comfortable schedule.
Because they will feel free there and the compatibility will be more
profound, you understand what I am saying. So, in marriage, never expect the
best. Like I always advise my kids, I will say the love story you see on
television is different from reality. Don’t believe it, don’t even expect it.
Marriage is a reality show, and reality means no perfection. Even God, I was
telling some of my (adopted) kids while we were doing morning devotion three
days ago and I said to them “what do you think is your right?”.
You have no right; you should always thank anybody that shows some generosity
to you even your parent. Because the God
that created us did not give us a right before Him, He said we are children of
favor and grace, that you cannot even question God ‘why did you make me a lame
man?. Why did you make me ugly like this? Why did you make me poor? He says by
grace. I choose to favor those I favor, it is not by right.’ So, even you as a
human being, you have no right before anybody, not even your husband or your
wife. So, if you know that, anything they do for you, say ‘thank you’, the one
they fail to do accept and do it for yourself but never think of separation, it
is not the solution. Because you will never get a better person there, I am speaking
from experience; there is no better person out there. Just accept whoever God
has destined into your life that, that is your cross to bear.
woman should break up her marriage because I believe from experience, like I
said earlier; there is no perfect human being. Anybody God has given you; just
take him as your destiny because even though you change, you will not find
perfection; so, why changing? And the changes always affect the children. Like
I said now, I wish I could be in Kwara but see me here, I am travelling out
tomorrow and by the time I am there, I am thinking of being here. But if it is
one side, you have a more comfortable schedule.
Because they will feel free there and the compatibility will be more
profound, you understand what I am saying. So, in marriage, never expect the
best. Like I always advise my kids, I will say the love story you see on
television is different from reality. Don’t believe it, don’t even expect it.
Marriage is a reality show, and reality means no perfection. Even God, I was
telling some of my (adopted) kids while we were doing morning devotion three
days ago and I said to them “what do you think is your right?”.
You have no right; you should always thank anybody that shows some generosity
to you even your parent. Because the God
that created us did not give us a right before Him, He said we are children of
favor and grace, that you cannot even question God ‘why did you make me a lame
man?. Why did you make me ugly like this? Why did you make me poor? He says by
grace. I choose to favor those I favor, it is not by right.’ So, even you as a
human being, you have no right before anybody, not even your husband or your
wife. So, if you know that, anything they do for you, say ‘thank you’, the one
they fail to do accept and do it for yourself but never think of separation, it
is not the solution. Because you will never get a better person there, I am speaking
from experience; there is no better person out there. Just accept whoever God
has destined into your life that, that is your cross to bear.
