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| Late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole to Asabeafrika….’That i was educated didnt mean i was better than my husband’s elder wives’ |
Before her Saturday January 3rd
sudden demise hours before the marriage of her second daughter, Mopelola, Iyalode Adunni Bankole one of Nigeria’s prominent high society women who contributed
immensely to the development of the Nigerian entertainment and social circle in
the last 25 years told Asabeafrika
some deep seated events that
characterized her 30 years union with her Egba, Ogun State born husband, Chief Alani Suara Bankole. The
influential Egba born philanthropist of repute and woman of enterprise was the
4th and youngest wife of Chief Bankole, an equally famous
industrialist of Egba stock. For 30 solid years this very beautiful woman with
Owu blood running in her vein was married to the Egba chief as his fourth and
youngest wife. The union produced 4 lovely children who are well educated with
some still studying abroad. The late Chief Mrs. Adunni Bankole had several
titles to her credit which includes the Iyalode
of Gbagura land in Abeoukata, The
Yeye-Mokun of Owu Kingdom in Egba land, Iyalode of Ojoo land in Abeokuta, Erelu Atayese of Igbein in Abeokuta, Yeye Atoyegbe of Ikeja land
and The Asoludero of Jajo land in
Ikorodu to mention but a few. Before the sudden separation from her husband,
Iyalode Bankole was one of his most influential wives who showed so much love
to her man and radiated so much passion within the large Alani Bankole family
of Iporo, Abeokuta.
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| The late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole, Iyalode of Gbagura Land with Celebrity blogger, Gbenga Dan Asabe during the memoir-encounter |
The
well travelled Mass Communicator was equally a United Nation Peace Ambassador
and Grand matron of the Performing Musician Employees of Nigeria (PMAN) during
her life time. Two years ago, Iyalode
moved out of her husband’s Oregun, Lagos, South West Nigeria home where she
shared apartment with other three wives for 30 years into her own newly built home in Ikorodu, a
suburb of Lagos state. To many people who knows the history of Iyalode Adunni
Bankole, her movement and total evacuation from her husband’s Lagos home was
very symbolic and could only mean that she is no more interested in the
relationship. But all efforts to get her
speak on the matter kept failing as the highly lettered woman vehemently
refused to grant any interview on the matter. But the need to talk and open up
became necessary when her husband who is
equally the Oluwo of Iporo Sodeke land in Abeoukuta married a younger woman of 26 years of
age and the lady put to bed for him a
baby girl. The wedding Nikkhai with his younger wife took place sometime in
March 2012 in Abeokuta with friends and families attending. He was equally
alleged to have earlier fathered a baby from another young lady before he
married a brand new 26 years old wife Bola Ewebiyi in Abeokuta. His action generated
lots of reaction in the e-media yet the late Adunni never reacted to her
husband’s decision.
her 54th birthday in 2013 men of the fourth estate of the realm
cornered her on the issue of her sudden exit from her matrimonial home into her
own private residence, demanding a reaction to the situation. Yet the Iyalode
remained adamant. She was not going to say a word. Not until Africa’s Number 1 Celebrity
encounter blog Asabeafrika made some frantic and persistent efforts which later
yielded fruits as the late Iyalode Adunni Bankole found the courage to open her
heart in Lagos.
blessed memory burst emotions to this blog and revealed the greatest secrets
that have dotted her 30 years romance with Chief Alanni Bankole. It is a red
hot exclusive direct from the horse’s mouth. It is the revelation of the pains,
intrigues and makes beliefs that characterized a dynastic romance stuffed with
30 years of irony.
Gbagura memoir-like exposure to your Africa’s number 1 Celebrity encounter blog
Asabeafrika; enjoy the excerpts.
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| Late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole ‘Life has taught me many lessons and one of such is that Polygamy is evil’) |
Her last Dinner with Disciples…
before Adunni Bankole spoke to asabeafrika,
she organized what she tagged “A Thanksgiving Dinner” we asked why the late Iyalode tagged her 54th
birthday celebration which held at an Ikeja, Lagos South West Nigeria based
Chinese Restaurant a “Thanksgiving Dinner” and she had this to say to us “It was
indeed tagged a thanksgiving dinner deliberately and planned to be so because I
was giving thanks to God. Since my last birthday, a lot of things have occurred
and anyway, anyhow I look at it, I have reasons to give thanks to God
continuously. For sparing my life, for being so evidently present in my life.
You know for every human being, it is right for you to celebrate your birthday
but in my own case, it is a birthday celebration plus-plus because God always
gives a reason for me to celebrate every year and this year is exceptional
because a lot has happened; things have happened. I am sure you know what I
mean. There were so many odds, many challenges and tribulations. But God has
renewed His covenant with me, He promised to stand by me, stay by me, look
after me and He has done so consistently. It is my first birthday celebration
after I started living by myself. And overwhelmingly, I am so convinced that
God is so present with me”.
“There were so many odds, many challenges and tribulations. But God has renewed His covenant with me, He promised to stand by me, stay by me, look after me and He has done so consistently. It is my first birthday celebration after I started living by myself. And overwhelmingly, I am so convinced that God is so present with me”
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| Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole cutting her last birthday cake |
The God that comforts the lonely one…
does Iyalode mean by saying “It is
my first birthday celebration after I started living by myself” and how would
she define the concept of God in her life? Her answer; “Whatever I am, whatever I have been,
whatever I will still be, whoever people think I am, beneath everything,
overwhelmingly, God takes the order of the day in everything I do” the late
socialite responded with a glowing face “I
love God, I appreciate God, I am spiritual. I didn’t just start being
spiritual, I have always been for all I can remember in my entire life, some
call me prophetess, some call me (lady) evangelist, I put God first in
everything that I do; I love Him, He loves me and proves Himself to me. He has
been my rock; He has been so evidently present in my life. So, whatever I am, I
am God’s woman first. I am a daughter of Zion, I am God’s vessel
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| Chief Mrs. Aduni Bankole at her last City People Awards outing in Lagos |
What people misunderstood about me….
“Thanksgiving Dinner” the very pretty lady who is now late said a lot of people
have dealt with her the way they thought of themselves and not the way she should
have been taken” we asked what she meant by that statement and she gave her
answer “Yes, yes, yes, that statement was deliberate. You know when your
birthday is approaching, you start doing recollections. You start meditating;
you start thinking over your life and for me that was the conclusion I just
reached, that my own life is different from a lot of other people’s lives. Like
former American President Ronald Regan
once said, “People are worms but I am a golden worm”. It is ironical because I
can call myself a multifaceted person. You can chose to see me from many angles
and people actually see me from different perspectives. But I know one fact that
people have dealt with me according to who they are. I don’t know if you get my
analogy? They have dealt with me according to who they are, according to what
they can do, according to how bad they can be. According to how their minds
work; so they super-impose it on me; you see, if you are dealing with a liar,
no matter how much you vehemently tell him the truth, somewhere in the corner
of his mind he thinks you are a liar because he is actually a liar,
psychologically. People who are not genuine who make up a lot; who try to make
out to be who they are not; when you deal with them, they still deal with you
acting. And when you are genuine, you are down to earth; they still don’t see
that side of you. They will deal with you the way they are. And ironically,
that is what has gone on in my life. I was dealt with the way people were in so
many ways. I don’t know other questions you are going to ask me so that I can
have the time to expound on these”.
“People have disappointed me thoroughly; people are just who they are. People are selfish, they only think about themselves and they don’t care what happens to your own feelings. People put themselves first before you, me, I have not lived my life like that. I am always putting people first; I am still doing that. My life is about people! People!! People!!! I guess if truly there is what they call re-incarnation, maybe when I come again, I can change”
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| The late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole with friends and well wishers during her last birthday celebration |
My pain & Honest Views @ 54
response came with a lot of sober reflections “Well, my outlook to life has
changed, the way I see things, the way I perceive things, the way I react to
issues has changed further. Over the years, I have seen life from a deeper view
and have also come to understand that life is transient, it is temporary. Life
is like one big stage where everybody acts. You act your bit and the next
person takes a cue from you and the race goes on. I have also come to discover
that I took things for granted and I trusted people too much. And a lot of the
times, I am being disappointed. People have disappointed me thoroughly; people
are just who they are. People are selfish, they only think about themselves and
they don’t care what happens to your own feelings. People put themselves first
before you, me, I have not lived my life like that. I am always putting people
first; I am still doing that. My life is about people! People!! People!!! I
guess if truly there is what they call re-incarnation, maybe when I come again,
I can change. But in this present life, no, it is too late for me. Me, I love
people, I am down to earth. I say things as they are, I don’t patronize people.
I don’t tell people things they want to hear maybe because I want something
from them, I just say things the way they are; the way they come to me, the way
I see them but it doesn’t go down with a lot of people”
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| The Late Iyalode of Gbagura to Asabeafrika……….’Many refused to see in between the lines, the kind of life I was living’ |
Maybe Adunni is not a diplomat?
any way. I am not diplomatic. Things you don’t want another person to hear,
please don’t tell me and you don’t gossip someone to me because I will just ask
the person. That is how I live my life and I feel comfortable like that”.
“If you are dealing with a liar, no matter how much you vehemently tell him the truth, somewhere in the corner of his mind he thinks you are a liar because he is actually a liar, psychologically. People who are not genuine who make up a lot; who try to make out to be who they are not; when you deal with them, they still deal with you acting”.
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| The Late Asoludero of Jajo land, Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole |
A nasty experience with Gen. Abacha’s
goons
told the late woman of valor to recall one particular experience where she had
it rough with government agents in her entire 54 years on earth and she
recalled one with the goons of the late Nigerian Military despot, General Sani Abacha “In actual fact,
that is an experience I will not like to think about but the good thing is that
I was vindicated and I am still here, living today as a free person. That was
also part of being a good person; the Bible says many are the affliction of the
righteous but He God will heal them of their afflictions and make peace for
them. That is part of the experience you
get when you are a good person. But we thank God”. Although the late Adunni Bankole had promised to give a
full account of her Abacha gulag
experience in a later date memoir which unfortunately has been stopped by her
sudden death on Saturday January 3rd.
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| Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole making a phone call during her last last birthday celebration |
Bankole’s dynasty
54th birthday some senior wives of the Bankole dynasty had not only graced the occasion but equally paid
her a moving tribute, an act that is very uncommon in a polygamist setting. Why
is Adunni Bankole so important and
special in the eyes of those who supposed to see her as a rival? “Well, I don’t
know what people call it but I know what I call it. First of all I don’t see
those women as my mates or as my rivals” Adunni
confessed. She spoke ahead “I chose never to see them as rivals or as my
husband’s “other wives”. Since I married my husband in 1982, I chose to see all
his wives as my elder sisters. And I deal with them as such and I treated them
as such. You know in Physics they say reaction and action is equal and
opposite. So you only get back what you dish out. I was very, very young when I
married my husband and the one that is least old than me (Among his wives) is
ten years older than me. So, what would I do in such a situation?” she asked
with a creased face.
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| Late Chief Mrs. Adunni Bankole with Femi Adejuwon (Scoba) Aralola Olamuyiwa (Ara), Tessy Yembra and a guest when she was inducted as Life Matron of PMAN |
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| Late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole being aided by Police officers during her 55th birthday ceremony |
Yes, I am educated but not better
than my husband’s elder wives
should Adunni humble herself to the
status of her husband’s other wives despite the fact that she is more educated
and more enlightened than they are? “Then that person will suffer seriously”
she reacted before giving a candid definition of her person “In the first place
you know there is no arrogance about me. I don’t know how to be arrogant, I am
not proud. I just do things the way they come to me. And these women are very, very good women.
Fantastic set of women; they are individually, a dream woman any man will ask
for. The kind of woman every man should pray to have as wife, they are very
good, very hard working, very accommodating, very caring, very resourceful
women. So, how do you deal with such people? If people are good, you treat them
as such. So, that is what you saw radiate at my birthday celebrations. There is
nothing spectacular; it is just the way we act to ourselves in that household. They
are good people, I am a good person. I respect them and they reciprocate. That
is all”.
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| Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole dancing with admirers during her 55th birthday celebration on March 29th 2014 |
I don’t believe in rivalry….
youngest wife among the first four wives of Chief Alani Bankole (Until he
married a younger one) what will Adunni point to as her formula for peace and
tranquility in the Bankole dynasty? “I
found myself where destiny placed me and as far as I was concerned, I tried to
live the best of the situation. My husband was eighteen years older than me
(when we met) and there was a very big difference then. I met with all his
wives; I got into the house and they accepted me; you know I have a very high
sense of humor. You know I joke a lot, that side of me people don’t know but I
am sure some of you know. I joke a lot o, and my sense of humor, that jocular
side of me also helped me. But majorly the fact that I was brought up in an
orthodox way not to compromise respect for someone who is older than me. I
greet all of them on my two kneels, not only bending; on my two kneels. And I
concede seniority to them. I am of a very different breed. I don’t believe in
competition, I don’t believe in rivalry. I do things the way they appear to me.
Initially when we started, they had problems with me ‘who is this lady again?
Which style is this?’ They had their own diplomatic orthodox style of living,
that’s why they were uncomfortable with me but soon they came to accept me for
who I am. They know that I would just say things; if they offend me, I would
say “mama lagbaja, why did you do this to me now?” “Ah ah! Why now?” Even when
people tell me ‘ah, they discussed you’ I will say “Ngbo, you discussed me?
Mama Lagbaja what did I do to you that you discussed me?” That person told me
you said this about me, you said this to her about me o”. So, they adjusted to
me. And also, they were never an issue; deliberately and decidedly. If anything
came to me that was unpleasant from that marriage or from these wives, it is
the man that brought it to me. And so it is the man I go after and say “You,
you this man, you are the one causing all these trouble”.
for Part 2 of the Iyalode Adunni Bankole’s Memoirs tagged
“Why I left Chief Alani Bankole’s house”
on this blog tomorrow morning)
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| Chief Mrs. Adunni Bankole doing what she knows how to do best, prsenting an award to winners at City People Awards |
