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| Safiyya….’My mum was a victim of Society’s misconception’ |
In this concluding memoir-like encounter with
one of Nigeria’s most beautiful minds, Barrister
(Mrs.) Safiya Omosholape Demola Seriki,
the Niger state born beauty told us everything from her life style as the
daughter of a northern Nigeria technocrat father and a south-western Nigerian
business woman who is equally famous.
one of Nigeria’s most beautiful minds, Barrister
(Mrs.) Safiya Omosholape Demola Seriki,
the Niger state born beauty told us everything from her life style as the
daughter of a northern Nigeria technocrat father and a south-western Nigerian
business woman who is equally famous.
The story of how her mother’s shrewd
business acumen and lifestyle shaped her approach to life and how she
eventually found love with Prince Demola
Seriki a former Minister of State for Defense who is equally a power broker
in the Lagos political scene, it is a story of a graceful childhood to an
opportunity filled motherhood. Sit and enjoy the other side of Safiya the technocrat in this concluding part of our memoir-like encounter with the former
Deputy Director at the Bureau of Public Enterprise.
Between my Minna father & Ijebu
mother
mother
As
a daughter to a father from Minna,
Niger state and a mother from Ijebu
in Ogun state, was there room for rivalry of cultures? “Not at all” Safiya
began and continued “Because I was always in Lagos. I was always in Lagos and
everybody spoke English. And again I did a bit of my university education at
ABU; so I was able to appreciate the northern culture much better and that made
a lot more relevance to me. I think I am lucky all the way round because I have
a group in the north, I have a group in the south. So, anywhere I want to flow,
I flow. If they haven’t seeing me in the north, they will say ‘oh, where have
you been? If they haven’t seen me in south, they say ‘oh, where have you been?’Then
I can chose being just between”.
a daughter to a father from Minna,
Niger state and a mother from Ijebu
in Ogun state, was there room for rivalry of cultures? “Not at all” Safiya
began and continued “Because I was always in Lagos. I was always in Lagos and
everybody spoke English. And again I did a bit of my university education at
ABU; so I was able to appreciate the northern culture much better and that made
a lot more relevance to me. I think I am lucky all the way round because I have
a group in the north, I have a group in the south. So, anywhere I want to flow,
I flow. If they haven’t seeing me in the north, they will say ‘oh, where have
you been? If they haven’t seen me in south, they say ‘oh, where have you been?’Then
I can chose being just between”.
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| The Lawyer & IT expert turned business woman inside her Allen Avenue Lagos store |
What you don’t know about my father
Safiya defined her father
to asabeafrika “He is a very nice
man. He worked with Nigerian Airways
many years ago, then that was the only national flyer. That was the period of
national pride. And till today, anywhere you go people always have nice things
to say about him because in the past, students that have been stranded that he
put on flight. We have women that have been stranded, with their kids and he
met them and gave them an act of charity. So in line of duty, he has been able
to help so many people and at the same time, I think he got a lot of fame then
because it was a national flyer and there were very few pilots just in their
own little clique. My father was able to interact with a lot of people to the
extent that anywhere you go, everybody knows him. They know of him and have
very nice things to say about him”.
to asabeafrika “He is a very nice
man. He worked with Nigerian Airways
many years ago, then that was the only national flyer. That was the period of
national pride. And till today, anywhere you go people always have nice things
to say about him because in the past, students that have been stranded that he
put on flight. We have women that have been stranded, with their kids and he
met them and gave them an act of charity. So in line of duty, he has been able
to help so many people and at the same time, I think he got a lot of fame then
because it was a national flyer and there were very few pilots just in their
own little clique. My father was able to interact with a lot of people to the
extent that anywhere you go, everybody knows him. They know of him and have
very nice things to say about him”.
“I have had encounter with Aliko
Dangote’s children; they are humble and the way they think marvels me, you know
that this man has raised sound children. Although everything is bound to the
gift of God but you must just do your own bit and leave the rest with God; so,
Aliko is very blessed with that. Those
are things that move me. That is what I want for my children, a legacy of
prudence, hard work, humility and enterprise”
Growing with Dad & Mum
Safiya spoke on the beauty of growing under
parents who are culture apart “Well, I think we spent time with both but he is
very laid back, he is not as strict as my mum. You could ask for money or
something and he gives you without questioning your reason. But my mum will say
‘listen, you have to give them something that makes sense, don’t destroy them’.
So both of them will always have a meeting and whatever meeting they have, if
my mum said it this way, he will go the other way sometimes. And at times when
he goes her way, we will bully him and say ‘listen dad, is it because mummy has
told you this, is that why you are changing your mind?’And he will always
apologize and say ‘no, no, no it is not like that’. It was just interesting.
Because I think he just left all the scolding and everything to her. He was
just a cool dad but one thing with him was that he supported my mum in the area
of career choices when we wanted to go to the university. We were 14 when we wanted
to take our GCSE, we told him we wanted to try it and he was a bit reserved
because he feared that we might not pass, but my mum said ‘if they pass, they
pass. No harm in trying’. So they agreed and paid and we did our GCSE at 14. I
got into ABU at 15 and they kept closing, closing, closing. In fact I was
almost suspected, I was going to be among those that made it that would have
been sent home. Because if you are not 16 by September, they will send you back
but I was lucky I just survived it; so those were the kind of things my parent
encouraged. So, we had a lot of fun with both of them”
parents who are culture apart “Well, I think we spent time with both but he is
very laid back, he is not as strict as my mum. You could ask for money or
something and he gives you without questioning your reason. But my mum will say
‘listen, you have to give them something that makes sense, don’t destroy them’.
So both of them will always have a meeting and whatever meeting they have, if
my mum said it this way, he will go the other way sometimes. And at times when
he goes her way, we will bully him and say ‘listen dad, is it because mummy has
told you this, is that why you are changing your mind?’And he will always
apologize and say ‘no, no, no it is not like that’. It was just interesting.
Because I think he just left all the scolding and everything to her. He was
just a cool dad but one thing with him was that he supported my mum in the area
of career choices when we wanted to go to the university. We were 14 when we wanted
to take our GCSE, we told him we wanted to try it and he was a bit reserved
because he feared that we might not pass, but my mum said ‘if they pass, they
pass. No harm in trying’. So they agreed and paid and we did our GCSE at 14. I
got into ABU at 15 and they kept closing, closing, closing. In fact I was
almost suspected, I was going to be among those that made it that would have
been sent home. Because if you are not 16 by September, they will send you back
but I was lucky I just survived it; so those were the kind of things my parent
encouraged. So, we had a lot of fun with both of them”
Mum never allowed us go visiting
friends.
friends.
Given a chance to describe her Ijebu mother, Safiya
went memory lane and brought out facts nobody knew about the woman famously
known as Bisket in the Lagos social circle “Very interesting
Personality. My mum has a larger life but very strict about upbringing. We are
seven, I am the second child. I have an elder sister. I also have younger
sisters who are into entertainment as well; one of them studied IT, she works
with DSTV. My other younger sister Aisha
also works with the media. Jumai and
Aisha are into entertainment. With
my mum, we grew up in a strict environment in the sense that on holidays we
have to work. We have to always be in the shop. So, that was where we played.
She won’t allow you to go out, she will say ‘anybody that wants to visit you
can come; you can give them as much biscuit, sweet and chocolate’ (laughter).
went memory lane and brought out facts nobody knew about the woman famously
known as Bisket in the Lagos social circle “Very interesting
Personality. My mum has a larger life but very strict about upbringing. We are
seven, I am the second child. I have an elder sister. I also have younger
sisters who are into entertainment as well; one of them studied IT, she works
with DSTV. My other younger sister Aisha
also works with the media. Jumai and
Aisha are into entertainment. With
my mum, we grew up in a strict environment in the sense that on holidays we
have to work. We have to always be in the shop. So, that was where we played.
She won’t allow you to go out, she will say ‘anybody that wants to visit you
can come; you can give them as much biscuit, sweet and chocolate’ (laughter).
So,
people like coming here, we give them gifts but she wont let us go out and we
were like ‘they come to visit us, we should be able to visit them’ and she will
say ‘no, you cant’. Even parties, she won’t let us go for birthday parties. I
remember there was a time we just returned from America and everyone was like
‘oh, new kids in town. Here is invitation, here is this and that’; we were
excited but she said ‘you are not going to any of them’. And we were saying
‘can this be real?’ But she didn’t let us go. That is why when people say she
is a socialite, they get it wrong. She is a socialite because of her work. But
she was not into parties. She never went to Owanbes. She never
engaged in partying like that, she was just a socialite to her work and because
she just liked people around her and a lot of people took advantage of that.
So, she didn’t let us go to parties and we couldn’t go and visit people. It was
always shop or home, shop or home. When we were growing up, I always spent time
with my grand mother (Late Chief Mrs.
Christianah Alaba Okeowo) and she was always in her shop as well. She was
one of those that started the fabric business in Lagos.
people like coming here, we give them gifts but she wont let us go out and we
were like ‘they come to visit us, we should be able to visit them’ and she will
say ‘no, you cant’. Even parties, she won’t let us go for birthday parties. I
remember there was a time we just returned from America and everyone was like
‘oh, new kids in town. Here is invitation, here is this and that’; we were
excited but she said ‘you are not going to any of them’. And we were saying
‘can this be real?’ But she didn’t let us go. That is why when people say she
is a socialite, they get it wrong. She is a socialite because of her work. But
she was not into parties. She never went to Owanbes. She never
engaged in partying like that, she was just a socialite to her work and because
she just liked people around her and a lot of people took advantage of that.
So, she didn’t let us go to parties and we couldn’t go and visit people. It was
always shop or home, shop or home. When we were growing up, I always spent time
with my grand mother (Late Chief Mrs.
Christianah Alaba Okeowo) and she was always in her shop as well. She was
one of those that started the fabric business in Lagos.
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They used to call it gutter
then at Idumota, and she used the fabric business to leverage on so
many other things; she built properties, bought lands and became big in real
estate. She was one of my best friends
because she we shared the same birthday which is 21st of September.
We were very close. So, for my mum, she was very, very strict. It was about
work; and a lot of that, she got from her own mum. So, it is a family culture.
It was more of work and discipline. You come here on holidays, my mum leaves
home around 9-to-10am, you have to leave with her. If you don’t leave with her,
then another car comes If you don’t leave with the other car, and then if you
are lucky, she might send a third car for you. But if by chance, a car comes to
the house again, and you get there; you must stay away from her because most of
the morning, she is going to be really upset with you; she is not going to
smile with you at all because she can’t just tolerate any excuse why you couldn’t
come with the first or second car. That, ‘it is not that you are going to
really work but you do work. So, why won’t you get up and get dressed and
follow me to work?’ So, on a normal day, even when her office was in Lagos, she
goes by 7 am. You know you have to get up and go to the office with her if not
if she meets you in the evening, you avoid her. So, it was like that with Mum,
no free lunch even in free town. She will deliberately make you feel
uncomfortable. She will frown at you and she will not entertain you in any way;
you will greet her and she will ignore you. She wants you to understand the
enormity of your stupidity. She won’t pamper you; that is why I said now, she
is easy because she has come off age, she is very soft now; those days it was
fiery. On holidays, you dare not tell her you are going for picnic. You can’t
even spend a day or two at home; to do what? You have no business at home you
have to be at work”.
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| Barrister Safiya Omosholape Demola Seriki with Lagos first lady, Dame Emmanuela Abimbola Fashola at 17th City People Awards for Excellence in Lagos(1) |
How mum trained us to be leaders
Will
Safiya
agree that her mum’s strict way of bringing her children up is what is majorly
responsible for her work ethics today? “Absolutely” she exclaimed before
speaking further “Because my mum used to load containers by herself. In
England, if they are loading her container, if they don’t pack it well, she
will enter the container in the cold. Then, if she enters you have to jump in
too. Or to assist her because you can’t watch her do it and you are idle, doing
what? And when she is buying or doing things, we follow her. So, you have to be
there, you work and learn alongside with her. And if a container comes and they
are off loading in Nigeria too, you know you have to be there. As she is
working, you have to join her. You must work hard in the early hours of the day
and you could eat later. But you would be so much engrossed with working that
you could even forget your meals at times. You have to watch it, you have to
stand because she is there, you can not go and sleep. If they are carrying
things, you must carry.
Safiya
agree that her mum’s strict way of bringing her children up is what is majorly
responsible for her work ethics today? “Absolutely” she exclaimed before
speaking further “Because my mum used to load containers by herself. In
England, if they are loading her container, if they don’t pack it well, she
will enter the container in the cold. Then, if she enters you have to jump in
too. Or to assist her because you can’t watch her do it and you are idle, doing
what? And when she is buying or doing things, we follow her. So, you have to be
there, you work and learn alongside with her. And if a container comes and they
are off loading in Nigeria too, you know you have to be there. As she is
working, you have to join her. You must work hard in the early hours of the day
and you could eat later. But you would be so much engrossed with working that
you could even forget your meals at times. You have to watch it, you have to
stand because she is there, you can not go and sleep. If they are carrying
things, you must carry.
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There
is none of my sisters; at least everybody can carry at least a crate of juice
or bottle. Because she will carry it, you will carry it, you don’t wait for
someone to do it; everybody was naturally alert to work and that helped me
while in England because I have already worked in my mum’s shop. I learnt to be
a leader too early because I was 13 when my mum will send me to the shop. I was
like a supervisor. And I will try to pretend to be ‘proper’ because I wanted
them to respect me, there are certain things I wouldn’t want to do in front of
Mum’s staffers because I know that they will copy. So, it was that kind of
leadership trait that I imbibed. At age 15, my mum would send me to her branch
at Suru-Lere to go and oversea
there. So, I didn’t have the privilege to stay in Allen Avenue most times. So, I have to go and stay there and manage
the people there sometimes. Over there, it was boring, everybody wanted to be
on Allen Avenue but for me, it was
like you are the team leader you go to Suru
Lere. And I will say ‘oh, this place is boring but I don’t have a choice, I
am there. I also worked at the branch in the airport. I saw different kind of
excitements, she never comes around to the airport branch so we managed things
and we had fun. The different experiences molded us and what you learn is that
you must always be on your toes. And that you have to set example, because you
didn’t want to embarrass yourself with my Mum. There was a joke we shared one
particular holiday, we all said to her ‘you know what, we have been working so
hard, how much do you think you can pay us per month?’ and she said ‘but you
guys don’t have GCSE certificate, so I think you deserve only 500 naira per month’.
And we said ‘how much is this N500?
is none of my sisters; at least everybody can carry at least a crate of juice
or bottle. Because she will carry it, you will carry it, you don’t wait for
someone to do it; everybody was naturally alert to work and that helped me
while in England because I have already worked in my mum’s shop. I learnt to be
a leader too early because I was 13 when my mum will send me to the shop. I was
like a supervisor. And I will try to pretend to be ‘proper’ because I wanted
them to respect me, there are certain things I wouldn’t want to do in front of
Mum’s staffers because I know that they will copy. So, it was that kind of
leadership trait that I imbibed. At age 15, my mum would send me to her branch
at Suru-Lere to go and oversea
there. So, I didn’t have the privilege to stay in Allen Avenue most times. So, I have to go and stay there and manage
the people there sometimes. Over there, it was boring, everybody wanted to be
on Allen Avenue but for me, it was
like you are the team leader you go to Suru
Lere. And I will say ‘oh, this place is boring but I don’t have a choice, I
am there. I also worked at the branch in the airport. I saw different kind of
excitements, she never comes around to the airport branch so we managed things
and we had fun. The different experiences molded us and what you learn is that
you must always be on your toes. And that you have to set example, because you
didn’t want to embarrass yourself with my Mum. There was a joke we shared one
particular holiday, we all said to her ‘you know what, we have been working so
hard, how much do you think you can pay us per month?’ and she said ‘but you
guys don’t have GCSE certificate, so I think you deserve only 500 naira per month’.
And we said ‘how much is this N500?
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| (L) Barrister Safiya Omosholape Demola Seriki Presenting an award to a recipient at the 17th City People Awards for Excellence, with her is Princess Tese Onakala of NeedleCraft (R) |
We
can buy a drink or two and everything is gone’. She was like ‘ok, but you guys
don’t have any qualification to get anything more than that’. So, that day she
did a dummy pay role for us and actually gave us envelopes with N500 naira each
in it; that was quite funny. That was really funny. And you know we learnt so
many things because at that time, Bisket Stores was 24 hours; we don’t
go home till 12-to-1am. On several occasion, you sleep in the shop. There was a
day, I missed the car home and I had to sleep in the bath. I took a nap and
when she resumed back in the morning, there was no way I could tell her that I
needed to go back and sleep, I am tired. There was no room for that. She
couldn’t imagine that she would be in the shop and I will be at home, sleeping.
The great thing she was trying to impact in us was to be able to manage our
time because you are going to be in charge of your life some day. So,
basically, I learnt how to work hard with my mum and when I got into England, I
had already had that discipline because I started work at home. I was not
allowed to go up and down. In fact, a lot of places in Lagos, I don’t know the
names because I didn’t socialize. I didn’t go out; I only know how to get home and
get back to the office”.
can buy a drink or two and everything is gone’. She was like ‘ok, but you guys
don’t have any qualification to get anything more than that’. So, that day she
did a dummy pay role for us and actually gave us envelopes with N500 naira each
in it; that was quite funny. That was really funny. And you know we learnt so
many things because at that time, Bisket Stores was 24 hours; we don’t
go home till 12-to-1am. On several occasion, you sleep in the shop. There was a
day, I missed the car home and I had to sleep in the bath. I took a nap and
when she resumed back in the morning, there was no way I could tell her that I
needed to go back and sleep, I am tired. There was no room for that. She
couldn’t imagine that she would be in the shop and I will be at home, sleeping.
The great thing she was trying to impact in us was to be able to manage our
time because you are going to be in charge of your life some day. So,
basically, I learnt how to work hard with my mum and when I got into England, I
had already had that discipline because I started work at home. I was not
allowed to go up and down. In fact, a lot of places in Lagos, I don’t know the
names because I didn’t socialize. I didn’t go out; I only know how to get home and
get back to the office”.
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| The CEO, Demani Bisket Stores Ltd thought over an issue while chatting with asabeafrika |
Why my mum became a philanthropist
Asabeafrika wants Shafiya to define her
mum from the philanthropic side of when she was rehabilitating destitute and
giving them new lease of life in Lagos before she ran into a major crisis in
2001. What lesson did Safiya learnt
from mum’s philanthropic endeavor and the aftermath of her action which nearly
brought her reputation down? “Well,
I think from the onset my mum has always loved to have people around her. She
was even paying her friends’ children’s school fees which I couldn’t understand
because they could afford it, do you get what I mean? But she just enjoys doing
it; so, she always likes people around her and we were forced to live with that
reality. I think it is from loving people around her that she now thought that
there are other people out there who are not privileged, that if she bring them
in and reform them, they could experience a better life and change than they
would get if they are on the street or they probably might have died. So, she
went into that (Philantrophy) and of course, naturally, that took a lot of her
time. But what people don’t really know was the fact that it was an emotional
offshoot of losing a child. My brother died and to her that was the worst
experience she could ever have. And she was like ‘ok, God, I will take care of
other people’s children but you must take care of my own.’ That was her deal
with God over my brother’s death and she started doing that and took it to
another level. That God, I am helping your children, take care of my own
children, I am going to take care of others. And it was interesting”.
mum from the philanthropic side of when she was rehabilitating destitute and
giving them new lease of life in Lagos before she ran into a major crisis in
2001. What lesson did Safiya learnt
from mum’s philanthropic endeavor and the aftermath of her action which nearly
brought her reputation down? “Well,
I think from the onset my mum has always loved to have people around her. She
was even paying her friends’ children’s school fees which I couldn’t understand
because they could afford it, do you get what I mean? But she just enjoys doing
it; so, she always likes people around her and we were forced to live with that
reality. I think it is from loving people around her that she now thought that
there are other people out there who are not privileged, that if she bring them
in and reform them, they could experience a better life and change than they
would get if they are on the street or they probably might have died. So, she
went into that (Philantrophy) and of course, naturally, that took a lot of her
time. But what people don’t really know was the fact that it was an emotional
offshoot of losing a child. My brother died and to her that was the worst
experience she could ever have. And she was like ‘ok, God, I will take care of
other people’s children but you must take care of my own.’ That was her deal
with God over my brother’s death and she started doing that and took it to
another level. That God, I am helping your children, take care of my own
children, I am going to take care of others. And it was interesting”.
 |
Tunde’s death changed mum’s world
view
view
Safiya pointed to a picture
across the wall in her office which showed a young boy between the age of 12 or
13 sitting on a suit attire and said “That is my late brother’s picture over
there; his name is Tunde, he spent a
very little time on earth because he died at 14”. Although she said Tunde was not the only son
as she has a younger brother now, she spoke glowingly about his leadership
trait “He was very interesting and he
had so many friends and so many associates at that small age; like Alhaji Lai Mohammed’s son, Jimmy
still talks about him till date. Jimmy will
say Tunde is my best friend, I lost
my best friend and that is why all of you are my sisters. This family is my
family because anytime I see you I remember Tunde because he was so
good to me, he was my friend. Very funny, his friends still remembers him till
date, he spent a very shot time but he had so much impact on many people that
you keep wondering why someone will still have a legend towards him. I think
that was what spurred my mum into catering for ordinary children. But I am of
the opinion and I always tell my mum; that in anything, it is good to do
experiment.
across the wall in her office which showed a young boy between the age of 12 or
13 sitting on a suit attire and said “That is my late brother’s picture over
there; his name is Tunde, he spent a
very little time on earth because he died at 14”. Although she said Tunde was not the only son
as she has a younger brother now, she spoke glowingly about his leadership
trait “He was very interesting and he
had so many friends and so many associates at that small age; like Alhaji Lai Mohammed’s son, Jimmy
still talks about him till date. Jimmy will
say Tunde is my best friend, I lost
my best friend and that is why all of you are my sisters. This family is my
family because anytime I see you I remember Tunde because he was so
good to me, he was my friend. Very funny, his friends still remembers him till
date, he spent a very shot time but he had so much impact on many people that
you keep wondering why someone will still have a legend towards him. I think
that was what spurred my mum into catering for ordinary children. But I am of
the opinion and I always tell my mum; that in anything, it is good to do
experiment.
Do your experiment, enjoy it but put things in the balance. I think
my mum wanted to change the world but unfortunately you can’t change the world,
she is someone who can give her eyes out if it is possible. So, in doing that
she took so much time off her business because you don’t know when something takes
out so much energy off you and because she thinks the best towards everybody.
So, I had to basically put her in check and said ‘listen, if you are expecting
a change, it is not a bad idea but the more I read the Koran, I come to
understand that every position we find ourselves is through the grace of God. Sometimes,
you can get angry with somebody but it is because you don’t know any better.
But it takes true patience to understand that; when you are trying to change
somebody or trying to change the whole world, it is not possible. Because God
has created things for a purpose and that purpose is for a rhythm. And when you
are trying to change people, they get upset. When you are passionate and you
love someone, you always want to try and change them. But you can never change
your own habit because God has designed people to be who they are. You can only
make impact and leave it alone but not trying to make their own change our own
life, for if you try and make their own change your own life then you find out
that you can not live through people you can only make them live through you and
if they pick an ounce from you, your knowledge, your wisdom, fine. If they can,
they can. If they can’t, they can’t. So, all this little things here and there
had taken her away from her business because naturally, sometime in life you
need to reflect on your actions. If people know you are somebody that loves to
accommodate, before you know it, some times, they could abuse it and you don’t
take it into perspective and that could derail you from your own purpose”.
my mum wanted to change the world but unfortunately you can’t change the world,
she is someone who can give her eyes out if it is possible. So, in doing that
she took so much time off her business because you don’t know when something takes
out so much energy off you and because she thinks the best towards everybody.
So, I had to basically put her in check and said ‘listen, if you are expecting
a change, it is not a bad idea but the more I read the Koran, I come to
understand that every position we find ourselves is through the grace of God. Sometimes,
you can get angry with somebody but it is because you don’t know any better.
But it takes true patience to understand that; when you are trying to change
somebody or trying to change the whole world, it is not possible. Because God
has created things for a purpose and that purpose is for a rhythm. And when you
are trying to change people, they get upset. When you are passionate and you
love someone, you always want to try and change them. But you can never change
your own habit because God has designed people to be who they are. You can only
make impact and leave it alone but not trying to make their own change our own
life, for if you try and make their own change your own life then you find out
that you can not live through people you can only make them live through you and
if they pick an ounce from you, your knowledge, your wisdom, fine. If they can,
they can. If they can’t, they can’t. So, all this little things here and there
had taken her away from her business because naturally, sometime in life you
need to reflect on your actions. If people know you are somebody that loves to
accommodate, before you know it, some times, they could abuse it and you don’t
take it into perspective and that could derail you from your own purpose”.
 |
How mum ran into Crisis
Where
was Safiya
in 2001 when her mum ran into crisis and what was her immediate reaction to the
allegation of child trafficking leveled against her mother? “I was in England
then. But you see, it made me upset because I know that in it all, we are the
ones that we don’t spend enough time with our mother because we had to share
our time and I know she was making sacrifices because of her business. Because
in between then, she was rehabilitating over 30, 40 drug addicts from the
street. They were feeding off her everyday. That was besides the children she
was sponsoring and giving welfare to. And then she was putting them in her
business, so that they can get jobs. And when you miss emotion with business,
it affects your business. My mum will bring people from the street and try to
help them with a job but if you have been on the street and you are used to
getting free, fast money, you can’t be able to run a 9-to-5.
was Safiya
in 2001 when her mum ran into crisis and what was her immediate reaction to the
allegation of child trafficking leveled against her mother? “I was in England
then. But you see, it made me upset because I know that in it all, we are the
ones that we don’t spend enough time with our mother because we had to share
our time and I know she was making sacrifices because of her business. Because
in between then, she was rehabilitating over 30, 40 drug addicts from the
street. They were feeding off her everyday. That was besides the children she
was sponsoring and giving welfare to. And then she was putting them in her
business, so that they can get jobs. And when you miss emotion with business,
it affects your business. My mum will bring people from the street and try to
help them with a job but if you have been on the street and you are used to
getting free, fast money, you can’t be able to run a 9-to-5.
 |
| A cross section of expensive Lace Material at Demani Bisket Stores |
There
is no how it won’t run down your business, and for this people not to
appreciate it; it is disappointing. And then you now hope that she can learn
from it, but she has been created like that. It is now, that she can see all of
it now and she can return to her normal calling because my mum is someone that
is so gifted in business, she is a phenomena in business; I learnt so much from
her and I feel that, that is one of the gifts that God gave her, she looks at
something and she turns it around. I speak to her; she speaks to me on what to
do and how to go about it. She creates something from nothing and it is a gift
God has given to her. It comes to her naturally. If she sits here, she can
re-arrange this shop over night. She is so hard working and for such a very
hard working woman and you see people mismanage her resources, it is so
painful. And that is why I said to her ‘Mummy, you work so hard…ah, ah? And you
can give it away like that? (Laughs wirily), and I will say ‘you have gone
through so much and you want to give it away like that? I said ‘I respect you
but you have to slow down because of your age’. She works so hard, God really
endowed her and that is why a lot of people that are now celebrities today;
that are rich today, many of them went through her but they don’t acknowledge it
and she could have used those monies to do so many other things. She is just
lucky that she is left with assets; if she wasn’t, it could have been a
different story. So, so many people have mentored through her; so I am lucky to
have been able to go through her, her knowledge, her wisdom.
is no how it won’t run down your business, and for this people not to
appreciate it; it is disappointing. And then you now hope that she can learn
from it, but she has been created like that. It is now, that she can see all of
it now and she can return to her normal calling because my mum is someone that
is so gifted in business, she is a phenomena in business; I learnt so much from
her and I feel that, that is one of the gifts that God gave her, she looks at
something and she turns it around. I speak to her; she speaks to me on what to
do and how to go about it. She creates something from nothing and it is a gift
God has given to her. It comes to her naturally. If she sits here, she can
re-arrange this shop over night. She is so hard working and for such a very
hard working woman and you see people mismanage her resources, it is so
painful. And that is why I said to her ‘Mummy, you work so hard…ah, ah? And you
can give it away like that? (Laughs wirily), and I will say ‘you have gone
through so much and you want to give it away like that? I said ‘I respect you
but you have to slow down because of your age’. She works so hard, God really
endowed her and that is why a lot of people that are now celebrities today;
that are rich today, many of them went through her but they don’t acknowledge it
and she could have used those monies to do so many other things. She is just
lucky that she is left with assets; if she wasn’t, it could have been a
different story. So, so many people have mentored through her; so I am lucky to
have been able to go through her, her knowledge, her wisdom.
And
at the same time, I learnt a lot about compassion from her as well but I always
tell her that in everything, there must be a balance and that balance must be
the drawing line between reality and emotion. Because God has created the world
in a balance, you have to respect it, you must respect it. So, I am so happy I
have leant a lot from her now and it has helped me to stabilize in my business
and family life. I am picking her brain, her knowledge, her everything through
the grace of God because I was born from her. If I don’t take advantage of it
now when will I? So, what she spent most of her time doing now is mentoring.
She has been mentoring us a lot in our business, she has relocated to Kwara state (North Central Nigeria) but
she comes to Lagos in a while; she was the one that encouraged me to get into
business, to start doing business. So, a
lot of things I run it by her, how do I go about this? How do I solve that
problem? And she is ever ready to mentor us, some I do my own way. But then,
business wise, my mum is incredible. God has endowed her with more than enough
wisdom”.
at the same time, I learnt a lot about compassion from her as well but I always
tell her that in everything, there must be a balance and that balance must be
the drawing line between reality and emotion. Because God has created the world
in a balance, you have to respect it, you must respect it. So, I am so happy I
have leant a lot from her now and it has helped me to stabilize in my business
and family life. I am picking her brain, her knowledge, her everything through
the grace of God because I was born from her. If I don’t take advantage of it
now when will I? So, what she spent most of her time doing now is mentoring.
She has been mentoring us a lot in our business, she has relocated to Kwara state (North Central Nigeria) but
she comes to Lagos in a while; she was the one that encouraged me to get into
business, to start doing business. So, a
lot of things I run it by her, how do I go about this? How do I solve that
problem? And she is ever ready to mentor us, some I do my own way. But then,
business wise, my mum is incredible. God has endowed her with more than enough
wisdom”.
 |
| Sholape Demola Seriki….’Nasir EL-Rufai is a fantastic Leader. |
Mum & Post Crisis Period
Safiya who hopes to make a book out of her
mum’s experience someday recalled how the great woman, Bisket handled the post crisis period “It was an interesting
episode of her life actually. But she was never weighed down; I think she only
learnt a lesson about how human beings can really be when the test of time
calls. You know before that crisis, when she was running her NGO, the late lawyer
Chief Yinka Rhodes came in to her shop one day and after shopping my mum
took him upstairs and showed him some of her children and the destitute she was
rehabilitating, over forty of them. The man was quite surprised and said he
never knew she could have such a heart of gold towards the penniless. He was
moved toward her activities and funny enough when the crisis broke out he was
the first to speak on my mum’s behalf and ordered his younger brother Chief
Shola Rhodes to take my mum’s brief without charging her a kobo.
Another lawyer Segun Ajibola (SAN)
also stood up and fought her case free. These were people who had no direct
dealings with her but because they knew the truth, they were ready to stake
their necks for her. They went to meet her at the station and offered free
legal services to her. So many friends and associates deserted her but few ones
stood by her because they knew she was wrongly accused”.
mum’s experience someday recalled how the great woman, Bisket handled the post crisis period “It was an interesting
episode of her life actually. But she was never weighed down; I think she only
learnt a lesson about how human beings can really be when the test of time
calls. You know before that crisis, when she was running her NGO, the late lawyer
Chief Yinka Rhodes came in to her shop one day and after shopping my mum
took him upstairs and showed him some of her children and the destitute she was
rehabilitating, over forty of them. The man was quite surprised and said he
never knew she could have such a heart of gold towards the penniless. He was
moved toward her activities and funny enough when the crisis broke out he was
the first to speak on my mum’s behalf and ordered his younger brother Chief
Shola Rhodes to take my mum’s brief without charging her a kobo.
Another lawyer Segun Ajibola (SAN)
also stood up and fought her case free. These were people who had no direct
dealings with her but because they knew the truth, they were ready to stake
their necks for her. They went to meet her at the station and offered free
legal services to her. So many friends and associates deserted her but few ones
stood by her because they knew she was wrongly accused”.
 |
| Bar. Safiya Omosholape Demola Seriki…..’My mum hates lazy people’ |
Mum went into birds care
Safiya said in order for her mum to
regain total strength from the wrong accusation of child trafficking against
her person, she had to start fending for birds after relocating to Abuja “After
that episode, I think she just took holiday off human beings and she relocated
to Abuja where she started rearing birds; guinea fowls, ducks, pigeons and
other assorted birds. I think she found solace in doing that and she was so
passionate about her birds. They will keep making noise and it was a big task
but Mum loves them.
regain total strength from the wrong accusation of child trafficking against
her person, she had to start fending for birds after relocating to Abuja “After
that episode, I think she just took holiday off human beings and she relocated
to Abuja where she started rearing birds; guinea fowls, ducks, pigeons and
other assorted birds. I think she found solace in doing that and she was so
passionate about her birds. They will keep making noise and it was a big task
but Mum loves them.
She
reared them for quite a long time until she started giving them away. She
couldn’t kill them but gave them out to people who could be compassionate with
them. She actually reared them for a season. That was another episode of her
life before she relocated to Kwara state where she is now into real estate. You
know her late mum, my grand mother retired at age 40. She was into real estate
for the rest of her life and my mum inherited much of that from her. Now, she has taken to the real estate
business and she equally comes to Lagos to mentor us once in a while, she still
maintains her office in Lagos Island, she equally has a
fabric store in Ilorin but comes in to Allen to mentor us on how to make
success of the business. That woman is a colossus; she has over four decades of
experience packed into her. She has since re-evaluated her life experience and
life goes on”.
reared them for quite a long time until she started giving them away. She
couldn’t kill them but gave them out to people who could be compassionate with
them. She actually reared them for a season. That was another episode of her
life before she relocated to Kwara state where she is now into real estate. You
know her late mum, my grand mother retired at age 40. She was into real estate
for the rest of her life and my mum inherited much of that from her. Now, she has taken to the real estate
business and she equally comes to Lagos to mentor us once in a while, she still
maintains her office in Lagos Island, she equally has a
fabric store in Ilorin but comes in to Allen to mentor us on how to make
success of the business. That woman is a colossus; she has over four decades of
experience packed into her. She has since re-evaluated her life experience and
life goes on”.
 |
| Call to bar dinner |
Me, Marriage & Motherhood
Safiya talks about her love life with husband,
ex-Minister of state for Defense, Prince Demola Seriki “Well, motherhood,
marriage life is fantastic. It is a blessing to be a mother. And to be married
because they say marriages are written from heaven. That it is God that chooses
your spouse for you; no matter how much you try to evade reality, God chooses
your spouse for you. So, Alihamdulilai, thank God for the
life of my husband. Being a married woman and being a mother is basically trying
to balance things and reforming your philosophy; that what are the things I
want to imbibe in my home? The first thing has to be God because the holy book
says that before you die, you must ensure that you make your children know who
God is. That that is the only thing you have when you die, children that
pray. That will be praying for you in
your death; and once you put that foundation right for them, it helps them no
matter what, in life, to sail through. So, the most important thing in life is
to be prayerful. I feel that I personally need to focus on my prayer so that I
can pray for my family and my twentieth generations”.
ex-Minister of state for Defense, Prince Demola Seriki “Well, motherhood,
marriage life is fantastic. It is a blessing to be a mother. And to be married
because they say marriages are written from heaven. That it is God that chooses
your spouse for you; no matter how much you try to evade reality, God chooses
your spouse for you. So, Alihamdulilai, thank God for the
life of my husband. Being a married woman and being a mother is basically trying
to balance things and reforming your philosophy; that what are the things I
want to imbibe in my home? The first thing has to be God because the holy book
says that before you die, you must ensure that you make your children know who
God is. That that is the only thing you have when you die, children that
pray. That will be praying for you in
your death; and once you put that foundation right for them, it helps them no
matter what, in life, to sail through. So, the most important thing in life is
to be prayerful. I feel that I personally need to focus on my prayer so that I
can pray for my family and my twentieth generations”.
 |
| Safiya….’I didn’t follow El-Rufai to FCT because I felt I had something bigger to do elsewhere’ |
How I met and fell in love with my
husband
husband
“It
was after government. Well, what attracted me to him number one was the fact
that he was a Muslim. And he loves God; before he ends the night, he likes
reading through the Quran. That attracted him to me first because I am equally
a Muslim, I love the religion. And that was a priority for me that I married
someone with the same religion for the sake of the foundation so that we won’t
have conflict. That is related interest and also for the fact that we could raise
our children in same way. He was lucky that in his growing up he learnt Quran
and Arabic; so, now my kids are going to learn that; we used to have
discussions and he would run things by me in the Quran because he learnt Kurani from time. That was the number
one interest I had for him before anything else”.
was after government. Well, what attracted me to him number one was the fact
that he was a Muslim. And he loves God; before he ends the night, he likes
reading through the Quran. That attracted him to me first because I am equally
a Muslim, I love the religion. And that was a priority for me that I married
someone with the same religion for the sake of the foundation so that we won’t
have conflict. That is related interest and also for the fact that we could raise
our children in same way. He was lucky that in his growing up he learnt Quran
and Arabic; so, now my kids are going to learn that; we used to have
discussions and he would run things by me in the Quran because he learnt Kurani from time. That was the number
one interest I had for him before anything else”.
How I handle my husband @ Home
When asabeafrika asked Safiya how
she feels on the fact that herself and her husband both have pretty faces
coupled with light skins which could translate to very charming kids, she burst
into a smile before saying “Alihamdulilai” and continued “It is through the
grace of God, it is grace of God that we were meant to get married and we were
meant to be like that. So, with everything, I put my mind to doing everything I
can do to make my home run well”. She spoke on how she handles the home front
which has produced two lovely and
charming kids namely Amani Aderinsola Adunola and Ademola
Abdul-Rasaq Atanda (Jnr.) “I try
to understand his own need and once I understand his needs, I make sure that
first thing in the morning, everything that he needs I make sure that I do them.
So, there is no fault on my side. Even at work, I try to understand both his
likes and dislikes. And I try and read books on home making every day. So, I
give my best in anything and leave the rest to God”.
she feels on the fact that herself and her husband both have pretty faces
coupled with light skins which could translate to very charming kids, she burst
into a smile before saying “Alihamdulilai” and continued “It is through the
grace of God, it is grace of God that we were meant to get married and we were
meant to be like that. So, with everything, I put my mind to doing everything I
can do to make my home run well”. She spoke on how she handles the home front
which has produced two lovely and
charming kids namely Amani Aderinsola Adunola and Ademola
Abdul-Rasaq Atanda (Jnr.) “I try
to understand his own need and once I understand his needs, I make sure that
first thing in the morning, everything that he needs I make sure that I do them.
So, there is no fault on my side. Even at work, I try to understand both his
likes and dislikes. And I try and read books on home making every day. So, I
give my best in anything and leave the rest to God”.
 |
| Safiya…’I had to leave the ministry of information because the new regime couldnt recognize quality of thought and creativity’. |
What I have learnt from Marriage
Safiya spoke on what marriage has done to her off
career line and people that has given her enough courage to face marriage “I
think it has made me build more muscles; more muscles in terms of psychology.
Because when you have a coach, a coach makes you do three or four more seat-ups
and you develop muscles; I think marriage has made me develop more muscles. And
you now understand who you are as a person and it makes you look deep and
remember what you are here for as a person because you can get side tracked by
other things. And if you allow other things to distract you, you will not
achieve your purpose because other things will becloud your sense of reasoning
and what you are meant to be. Because there is time to be a mother, there is
time to be a career woman; there is time to be married. But if you allow your
own existence to be distracted by the definition of whom you are by other
people, then before you miss it, your existence will be altered and you are not
able to mentor or assist other people in redeeming their worth in life and to
become better people.
career line and people that has given her enough courage to face marriage “I
think it has made me build more muscles; more muscles in terms of psychology.
Because when you have a coach, a coach makes you do three or four more seat-ups
and you develop muscles; I think marriage has made me develop more muscles. And
you now understand who you are as a person and it makes you look deep and
remember what you are here for as a person because you can get side tracked by
other things. And if you allow other things to distract you, you will not
achieve your purpose because other things will becloud your sense of reasoning
and what you are meant to be. Because there is time to be a mother, there is
time to be a career woman; there is time to be married. But if you allow your
own existence to be distracted by the definition of whom you are by other
people, then before you miss it, your existence will be altered and you are not
able to mentor or assist other people in redeeming their worth in life and to
become better people.
As
a wife and a mother, you must be able to give other young women things that
they can aspire to and they can see and say ‘okay, this person is married;
despite challenges, she is still focused. The only thing that is constant in
life is change but in between the constants, you have to be focused. And I
think marriage has equally taught me that you have to be focused. If you are
not focused, you got your kids looking up to you. So, you already got your own
team. They are looking at you as their own leader and you can’t afford to
mislead them. I let God direct my life really. I leave it to God; every day I
pray to God, there are times you pray more, there are times you pray less. But
there must be prayer so that God will dictate and direct me and God is giving
me muscles and because it is a different terrain, it is different from what I
know, what I understand because I have always been work, work, work. So,
creating the time to mentor the kids and give them their own happiness has
really changed me. Their happiness makes me to be happy. But you need to give
them the biggest legacy.
a wife and a mother, you must be able to give other young women things that
they can aspire to and they can see and say ‘okay, this person is married;
despite challenges, she is still focused. The only thing that is constant in
life is change but in between the constants, you have to be focused. And I
think marriage has equally taught me that you have to be focused. If you are
not focused, you got your kids looking up to you. So, you already got your own
team. They are looking at you as their own leader and you can’t afford to
mislead them. I let God direct my life really. I leave it to God; every day I
pray to God, there are times you pray more, there are times you pray less. But
there must be prayer so that God will dictate and direct me and God is giving
me muscles and because it is a different terrain, it is different from what I
know, what I understand because I have always been work, work, work. So,
creating the time to mentor the kids and give them their own happiness has
really changed me. Their happiness makes me to be happy. But you need to give
them the biggest legacy.
 |
People I admire in Child Rearing
Safiya
gave kudos to people whose life style has stood as a mirror for others to see
through and dress well “Looking at my own grand mum with the quality training
she gave my mum which was transferred down to us. I look at great families and
how they were able to raise great children to manage their legacies. For
instance, I look at Chief Subomi Balogun and I often read his
own achievements like a book—-he has been able to create a successful
institution which he handed over to a great and disciplined child. He has been
able to get a second generation. So you can see there is a level of discipline.
gave kudos to people whose life style has stood as a mirror for others to see
through and dress well “Looking at my own grand mum with the quality training
she gave my mum which was transferred down to us. I look at great families and
how they were able to raise great children to manage their legacies. For
instance, I look at Chief Subomi Balogun and I often read his
own achievements like a book—-he has been able to create a successful
institution which he handed over to a great and disciplined child. He has been
able to get a second generation. So you can see there is a level of discipline.
 |
| The Demani Bisket Ltd boss welcomes the GDA to her textile session |
That
is what Subomi has done with his kids—successful transition. I look
at the Olagunsoye Oyinlolas, the Aliko Dangotes, the Bamanga
Tukurs, they all have successful, level headed children taking after
them in various endeavors. The Bola Ajibolas are fantastic—they
all have seven great lawyers, a SAN and a federal High Court Judge; that is
discipline—extra-ordinary discipline. People like the owner of Mama
Cass Kitchen, her daughter opened up a new restaurant in London
recently, that is successful transfer of knowledge and discipline. I have had
encounter with Aliko Dangote’s children; they are humble and the way they
think marvels me, you know that this man has raised sound children. Although
everything is bound to the gift of God but you must just do your own bit and
leave the rest with God; so, Aliko is very blessed with
that. Those are things that move me.
That is what I want for my children, a legacy of prudence, hard work, humility
and enterprise”.
I admire Mrs Hellen Prest Ayaji’s style of raising kids too.
She was a Miss Nigeria under 20 and went on to study law and became a lawyer. She
has three beautiful girls; Tiffany, Tosen and Tomisin who are all focused. They
are very cultured and grounded and even her eldest daughter, Tiffany who is
also a lawyer like her mum went on to run for the MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN
NIGERIA beauty contest two years ago and she did extremely well. She now works
with her mum to run their online business uwantit.com. such an incredible
family of serious people.
Tribute to my Grand Mother
Rounding
off the memoir like interview, Safiya
was asked to pay tribute to another person that influenced her to success after
her mum and it was like she has been waiting for such a question as she
exclaimed the first line of answer with great exitement “Yes, that is my grand
mother (Chief Mrs. Alaba Christianah Okeowo aka Alagbara
Wura of Ijebu Land) because she mentored me; aside of that, she came
from no where and had nothing. And she worked so hard, at the time we were
young, she sent us to boarding school in England. And she achieved so much in
her life time and she retired at the age of 40. So, someone like her from no
where; she did not go abroad but she just aimed very high for the best, she is
a success story. She is someone that I really looked up to. I look at her life
and I know everything is possible. Because she has a native wisdom, she does
not believe in women starving for long under a husband. She will say “Se o Lowo?” (Do you have hands?) Meaning
that if you have hands, you can marry any man but you must equally work. That
was her philosophy. And her dream for me was to get married and have a child
before she died, and that was achieved. That was her biggest dream and it was
achieved before her death three yeas ago. She produced my mother and my aunty
(Nikky Africana) and you know they have achieved so much because of her, they
are also into property. I learn a lot of wisdom from her when I go and sit down
with her at home (Ijebu). I usually go to Ijebu to go and hang out with her
when she was alive; I spend times with her because of her native wisdom. And I
thank God for her life that she was able to see me marry; she was able to speak
with my husband; that made her happy and I am glad that even towards her death
he paid her a visit as well. She supported my marriage and died a very happy
woman”.
off the memoir like interview, Safiya
was asked to pay tribute to another person that influenced her to success after
her mum and it was like she has been waiting for such a question as she
exclaimed the first line of answer with great exitement “Yes, that is my grand
mother (Chief Mrs. Alaba Christianah Okeowo aka Alagbara
Wura of Ijebu Land) because she mentored me; aside of that, she came
from no where and had nothing. And she worked so hard, at the time we were
young, she sent us to boarding school in England. And she achieved so much in
her life time and she retired at the age of 40. So, someone like her from no
where; she did not go abroad but she just aimed very high for the best, she is
a success story. She is someone that I really looked up to. I look at her life
and I know everything is possible. Because she has a native wisdom, she does
not believe in women starving for long under a husband. She will say “Se o Lowo?” (Do you have hands?) Meaning
that if you have hands, you can marry any man but you must equally work. That
was her philosophy. And her dream for me was to get married and have a child
before she died, and that was achieved. That was her biggest dream and it was
achieved before her death three yeas ago. She produced my mother and my aunty
(Nikky Africana) and you know they have achieved so much because of her, they
are also into property. I learn a lot of wisdom from her when I go and sit down
with her at home (Ijebu). I usually go to Ijebu to go and hang out with her
when she was alive; I spend times with her because of her native wisdom. And I
thank God for her life that she was able to see me marry; she was able to speak
with my husband; that made her happy and I am glad that even towards her death
he paid her a visit as well. She supported my marriage and died a very happy
woman”.
