RULE 90: Never Lend Money To Friends Or Family Unless You Are Prepared To Write It Off

Mrs. Sammie Ayoka Peter, Change Agent for Cancer Awareness

Can you share
your wealth with family and friends? Yes, but if you want to retain your sanity
I would strongly suggest you don’t lend anyone any money unless, mentally, you
are prepared to write it off. That way when they don’t repay you – and I bet
they won’t – you’ll feel just fine about it. If you expect them to repay you
and they don’t, imagine how hurt and let down you are going to feel.

I know I have
sons. But my money is for them as much as it is for me, so we play this game of
them asking for a loan and me giving it to them. Sometimes they pay it back and
I am pleasantly surprised but sometimes they don’t and I write it off and
that’s fine too. (I really hope they don’t read this or I’ll be cornered like a
rat in my own home.) 
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“If you do lend money to friends and don’t get it
back, you lose more than just the money – you lose the friendship as well. They
feel embarrassed because they aren’t repaying you and thus don’t come round to
see you. You feel grieved and don’t invite them because of it. Result: end of
friendship”.

I value them and
their relationship with me and I wouldn’t want to fall out with them over
something as squalid as money when there are so many better things to fall out
with them over anyway. If you do lend money to friends and don’t get it back,
you lose more than just the money – you lose the friendship as well. They feel
embarrassed because they aren’t repaying you and thus don’t come round to see
you. You feel grieved and don’t invite them because of it. Result: end of
friendship. Write it off though and you’ll still be happy to see them and
they’ll quickly forget the embarrassment and regard you as one of a kind.
Of course you
don’t have to do either. You can just say no (see Rule 93). Or
you could just give them money (see Rule 94). I’ve been reading
an advice blog on the web about a young man who lent his room-mate at college
$350 – not a huge amount – but the repayment never materialized. He had asked
various friends first if they had ever lent his room-mate money and they said
he had paid them back. Now he has of course fallen out big time with his
room-mate – despite offering him the option of repayment terms at $50 a month.
Worse still, he has fallen out with all his other friends because they ‘approved’
the loan in his eyes.
The advice was
to take the friend to court but I figure he won’t see the money anyway and will
cop a lot of legal expense into the bargain. Better to chalk it up to
experience and walk away whistling. I know, for him, it is a lot of money but
any decent education doesn’t come cheap. The discussion did go on into his
rights to ‘seize’ his room-mate’s possessions etc. I still say walk away
whistling and don’t ever do it again.
From The Book; The Rules of Wealth by
Richard Templar
(Read Rule
91
of Rule of Wealth tomorrow on Asabeafrika)
Read-to-Wealth Series







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