Motivational

Rule 74: Be conciliatory

November 25, 2016

Two Nigeria’s Elite Opposition Party, PDP Politicians, Gov. Ayodele Fayose of Ekiti & Ex-Miniser of State for Defense, Musiliu Obanikoro

Feathers
have been ruffled. You weren’t
involved. It was nothing to do with
you. Doesn’t matter. Make sure it is you who soothes those
feathers.

·
Make
everyone a cup of tea.

·
Stroke
a few egos

·
Clear
the air

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·
Open
a window

·
Get
them to shake hands (or kiss and make up)

If
feathers have been ruffled by a boss telling off a junior, make sure it is the
junior you comfort, cheer up, brighten up, and perk up, whatever. The boss should be handled differently. The best way is the silent but disapproving action
of conciliation—make them a cup of tea but say nothing. You are indicating that you disapprove – and
thus are really senior to them because you wouldn’t make such a mistake – that
you aren’t scared of them or their anger or whatever. But maintain the silence.

“Being conciliatory
is a bit like breaking up fights between kids.
You don’t want to know who started it – no, you really don’t or what is
a about. You don’t want the details of who pinched who, or who bit who”

If
you do this well they will be obliged to ask you what you thought of the way
they blew up or shouted or disciplined someone.
Just say, ‘It isn’t really for me to say, is it?’ Invariably they will say, ‘I would value your opinion’, or ‘No, I’d like to know’, or ‘It’s
OK, say what you think’. It doesn’t
matter what they say, you’ve got them.

Now
you can be conciliatory, now you can be the diplomat, now you have turned the
tables. Just say, ‘You handled it fine. Trish
was out of order and she needed telling’.
Don’t whatever you do, actually criticize the way they handled
things. Let them know you disapprove but
never, ever admit that in real life.

Always
remember that your job isn’t to make wave to ride them. Surf your way to the top by being
conciliatory. By doing this you will win
friends, bring together opposing sides and gain respect.

Being
conciliatory is a bit like breaking up fights between kids. You don’t want to know who started it – no,
you really don’t or what is a about. You don’t want the details of who pinched
who, or who bit who. All you want is
peace restored and for them to shake hands and start over again being
friends. That, at work, is all you want
too. Use the same techniques you would
use on small children.

(Excerpts from THE
RULES OF WORK by Richard Templer Read “The Art of Keeping Your Temper Intact” from The Rules tomorrow on Asabeafrika)

Rule-to-Work Series